EXTRA FISTING, HOLD THE ELEPHANT FECES

Ahh, fisting, on of the more "mainstream" fetishes that I just don't get. Now I'm not going to go off on a rant about the usual "how could I compare after that" speech that you hear nine times out of ten from an opponent of this practice. What I don't understand is how people can stomach watching their partner's (or the object of their current pornography viewing's) vulva get stretched beyond the limits of human possibility. It reminds me of a band I was once in where all the singer did was scream. I always guessed he figured the harder he screamed, the better his singing would be because he was putting that much more effort into it. In the same line of thinking, I guess these people get turned on when a finger goes in a vagina, even more turned on when their fuckstick goes in, so the only natural progression of thought would be, "Hey, it would probably be REALLY hot if I crammed a large apendage up there!" I mean this sort of elasticity is supposed to be reserved for a few child births and an occasional DVDA, tops; not to mention I don't understand how their guts don't just drop out of their manhole when they stand up. As a sidenote, just read that pure state of spiritual zen on her face.       But this is WTFIT? and not an editorial on the subcultures of human sexuality, no matter how perverse and base, so let's commence with the examination, mmkay?       Ok, if you're not color blind (and maybe if you are too, I really don't quite grasp the mechanics of color blindness), you will have noticed I've highlighted the object I have yet to identify. Now, when I first saw it, my knee-jerk reaction was to label it as a big, herky, nasty soft rubber dildo. Either that or Its a fetish I've never seen before: The Fisting-Buttcheeckgrabbing-ElephantTurd-On-The-Chest-Zen-Meditation Fetish. Truly the eight wonder of the natural world. Whatever it is, its beginning to disturb me, so I'm moving on.

I'M DRAWING A BLANK HERE

On first glance, I thought that was her cervix gleaming back at me like the beautiful, moist sphyncter it is. But upon further examination, like the title says, I drew a blank. Even still now I'm drawing a blank. Is it a jar or something? If so, what the fuck is going on with her clit?       Ok, after looking closer, the metal debris around her clit is obviously rings (as in peircings), you can make out the little metal beads on them. This is a sort of relief to me, seeming as the first time I zoomed in I thought it was a mass of fishhooks going through her love button. What I still can't fathom is why they are up so high, and what the fuck is going on with her clit?       I see, the glare is playing a little trick with my eyes, that's actually the underside of her clit, so that clears that up, now we only have the surmise the origin of the "lodged" object. Well, actually we don't, there are no deadlines on these things, so I'm dropping this one now.

THATS IT, I QUIT

Of course, we all know what that is, but why in hell is it so big? What the fuck were they feeding that girl as a kid?       Just look at this comparison:       If you were going down on this girl, would you lick that thing or jerk it off? Christ, I feel dirty all over. All I know is that if I was the proud owner of this monstrosity, I doubt I'd have the courage to ever get naked, much less go in to somekind of skanky internet porn thing. Jesus, just look how its protruding! It looks like a pokemon's special attack! I just want to drill a hole in my skull and pour the contents of this picture out of my memory.