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LAZARUS -- NOT YOUR AVERAGE ZOMBIE

Category: Rant
Wednesday, June 27th, 2001 @ 12:02 am

Posted By Brent

So, I finally got all the computer shiznit back in order, everything's showin' and flowin'. I absentmindedly had sex in front of the camera tonight, so if you were a' watching, congrats on the free show.

So, did you know that Marylin Manson was a red-headed female porn model? I did.

Anyways, I feel like dying. My parental units tossed me their treadmill and I've been running for 15 minutes everyday. Christ, if it weren't for all that shit about early man fighting for survival and shit, I'd totally be of the opinion that we were meant to sit on the couch and drink whiskey all day (seeming as that's my normal daily ritual [fortunately that lasts longer than 15 minutes]). So, I've been running regularly and now my legs feel like shit and my body is having an internal battle over which it likes more: being healthy, or smoking a pack and a half a day. I'm guessing that's gonna be one of those 'Hundred-Years Wars' seeming as I don't plan (read: want) to be giving up either anytime in the near future.

I suppose if I keep it up long enough, my body will come to some even-ground, so I'll just grin and bear it.

But I digress from my pointless blathering...

I don't have a subscription or anything, but somehow where ever I move, I keep getting Maxim in the mail. Anywho, they have an article in it this month about 'Project Ginger', or more affectionately nicknamed, 'It'. Guess what, its a fucking scooter. I fucking swear, I will kill the creator of the 'next big thing' that comes along; I will mold the big shit cloud of hype people have created around it and shove it up all their collective asses, sideways if it has a sort of oblong shape to it. I mean COME ON! Its the fucking year 2000(+1), I'm not asking for a flying car, just gimme something worthy of a fraction of the fucking hype Ron Popeil has generated about one of his shitty shit shits.

Ok, I've been reduced to using three derivations of the same obscenity with out any words in between, so enough ranting; here's some asses:

B-B-Butt! -~- B-B-Butt! -~- B-B-Butt! -~- B-B-Butt! -~- B-B-Butt!

Comments

NAME: ian the trogydae

Saturday, June 30th, 2001 @ 05:22 pm

hey, bud. i told some of mine. and even came clean on the one that seemed too cool to be true.

NAME: glitch13

Saturday, June 30th, 2001 @ 12:06 pm

I guess that's better than not having tales of sexual prowess to begin with...

NAME: ian the trogydae

Saturday, June 30th, 2001 @ 03:13 am

1. mister repulsive, b0rken links aren't really all that funny. but i AM very proud of you for finding another picture of marilyn manson from that series glitch referenced up in the post.

2. damn, glitch. the fact that you bothered to assemble that and your exceedingly high ranking it call your tales of sexual prowess into very high question.

NAME: glitch13

Friday, June 29th, 2001 @ 11:00 pm

Writer update statistics. A good bit of them are 'courtesy accounts', but a few non-posters are supposed to be contributing. More design is needed before its fit to print tho (make no qualms about it, this is a shame tool).

NAME: jim repulsive

Friday, June 29th, 2001 @ 01:34 pm

yeah "ian" just not funny now this is comedy!!! and just to accompany my post i'll leave you all with a picture of a real woman...CHAINSAW SALLY!!!!

NAME: foo

Thursday, June 28th, 2001 @ 10:22 pm

That shit just aint funny.

NAME: ian the trogydae

Thursday, June 28th, 2001 @ 09:02 pm

seems lately i feel less and less of my thoughts are worth actual posts but are more appropriate to the comments, so here we go...

glitch is always telling me about how fuck-all hilarious penny arcade is and although they usually get a little "harumph" (or whatever you want to call that under the breath laugh thing) out of me, i always come away from the experience renewed in my conviction that glitch and don't have twin senses of humor. that is, at least until i saw this one.

NAME: glitch13

Wednesday, June 27th, 2001 @ 06:29 pm

Ya, she's hot.
Nope, that's all I've seen from her.
As jason noticed while on ICQ with him today, just thank got I edited out the MEAT CURTAINS!
(thanks, but I'll stick to the running, you can talk to hardgeus about the dance pad tho[bout the tenth picture down]).

NAME: ian the trogydae

Wednesday, June 27th, 2001 @ 06:22 pm

glitch, if you don't want to run for fifteen minutes a day, there's always this.

hey, if it's good enough for superstar gary busey then i'm sure it's good enough for the likes of you.

NAME: foo

Wednesday, June 27th, 2001 @ 01:22 pm

hear hear!
She's hot yo

NAME: ian the trogydae

Wednesday, June 27th, 2001 @ 11:13 am

so is that the official word or is that conjecture from maxim? and why weren't all the image links devoted to more pics of miss leopard print girl?