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| NIEL ARMSTRONG |  | Category: Social
Thursday, April 3rd, 2003 @ 02:33 pm
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 Friends, for a while now we've had a visitor to our comfy abode here at glitch13.com. While his familiarity with us, affinity for the White Stripes, and wicked redbeanish sense of humor may lend credibility to him actually being someone we know, I have yet to get anyone to crack under my torturous inquisition. And by that I mean when I'm drunk and asking Scott and Pete whether or not they know who the hell he is.
For those of you who have no idea who I'm talking about, I speak of the mystery man that goes by the moniker "Niel Armstrong". Of course, this isn't the only name he's gone by, he changes names like some of us change crab shampoos: Niel Armstrong, Louis Cifer, Evil Fix with goatee, Assman, Hershel Liebermatzahberg, cuddlemonster, Lohacla Suolovram (my personal favorite), 2dope, and Super hippie, to name but a few.
Perhaps I'm ahead of myself by posting this. Maybe, he's someone we know and he's always assumed we knew it was him because the subject of his identity has never been broached before.
I for one believe he wraps his anonymity around him like a protective shroud, occasionally snipping us with venom and humor. I always figured it was Gerald or Niki or someone else 'of the fold' that enjoyed antagonizing the masses here, if only in short stints. That was until I took notice of the most puzzling aspect of this caper: the originating address. It seems Niel posts from somewhere in that far off land of the LSU dormitory, or at least he only posts from somewhere on Campus. That combined with the fact the he posts with a frequency that does not paint a picture of a person that commutes from New Orleans, the only logical solution is that he lives in Baton Rouge.
And this is where, as they say, the plot thickens. Using my Sherlock Holmsian logic and powers of deduction, I have come to the conclusion that I don't know anyone who lives in Baton Rouge, and of the aquantances I do have there, none match the mental profile I have so meticulously pieced together.
So, unless he chooses to reveal himself, I suppose this will become one of the mysteries of the ages....
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