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OBLIGITORY B-DAY POST
Category: Philosophy
Thursday, May 15th, 2003 @ 10:22 pm
Posted By Brent
When Brenda's birthday came up, I had a post all written down in my head and prepared to commit it to this toilet that is the internet, by way of my spledid website. All that was left to do was a little searching for a picture of someone sitting in a cake. I searched and searched, and the only one I could find was neither sexy, nor was it wittily ironic in any sense -- just plain dumb. It seemed to suck the will to post right out of me.

Now, hot on the heels of hers, my birthday approches with ramming speed, determined to knock another year off my fading virility. After I turned 18, every birthday after that seems to trigger a twinge of pain somewhere in my brain. After 21, that twinge exploded into a full blown 12 gauge shotgun blast through the mouth. You know, the kind that leaves a Rorsarch test of brain matter on the clean white tile of the bathroom wall behind you.

I feel kind of silly getting all philisophical about it though, I mean 27 is no more of a milestone then the past five or so birthdays I've had. I certainly don't feel old, nor do I act anything like my parents did at this age. My own mortality is as far from my mind as it was when I was 9. I smoke and drink and eat like I have a lifetime left to cleanse my body of its youthful decadence.

But guess what? That's how I play this game, and the next old-acting friend I have that says "we're getting old" is getting a fistful intestines yanked out their ass. YOU'RE getting old buddy, don't drag my ass down with your future planning, 4 beer maximum, den remodeling, in by midnight ass. Just because you're feeling the icy cold breath of the reaper breathing down your neck doesn't mean I'm interested in giving your misery any company, pal.

I got my plans, and they don't include what decorations to hang up for the next upcoming holiday.



Comments

NAME: shit
Tuesday, May 20th, 2003 @ 11:49 pm
she's a freak monique i think i'm guna tweek


NAME: GirlyGirl
Tuesday, May 20th, 2003 @ 07:35 pm
My birthday was monday the 12th. Glitch on monday the 19th. And Rebababy is coming up on monday the 26th. We like to celebrate on a weekly basis around here...just have to do it on the weekends.


NAME: x7
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 10:28 pm
so i'm bad with dates...
is today your birthday or what?


NAME: lizzy
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 10:01 pm
just got free cable and hot poon for our wedding present...thanks hot dog! loved the free creamed corn as well!!!

post script: would love to go to molly's.

love to the mac!!
WORD



NAME: hehe
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 09:55 pm
http://www.gapingmaw.com/319079/toilets.jpg


NAME: foo
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 06:01 pm
I'm just waiting for *anything* to be delivered to me via a lesbian stripper's ass crack...

Well, other than shit. That would be nasty.


NAME: glitch13
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 03:30 pm
So now we've gone from oppositional disorder to Martyr Complex B. I commend you.

And I'm still waiting for my wedding invite written on a scrap of tequila soaked paper, delivered to me in a lesbian stipper's ass crack.


NAME: Niel
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 02:06 pm
If you're having trouble dial *CP on your cell phone.


NAME: shit
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 12:21 pm
liqour or beer


NAME: Miss A
Monday, May 19th, 2003 @ 11:36 am
I'm sorry. I didn't know this was A Very Serious Page about agreeing with Very Serious Brent. I also agree that me trying to be "humorous" is completely out of line. I guess when you "commit something to public review" I should just agree with you then say something about liqour and I'll be in.


NAME: shit
Saturday, May 17th, 2003 @ 10:00 pm
who's going to mollys wit me?


NAME: fix
Saturday, May 17th, 2003 @ 05:05 pm
nice post. now pass the creamed corn...please.


NAME: Niel
Saturday, May 17th, 2003 @ 12:00 pm
Glitch and this dude.


NAME: xerxes7
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 11:13 pm
i'm a rockin bird and it's so absurd. ahppy birthdrday to da bederman. ya heard?


NAME: g13
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 08:01 pm
... and I would agree that the "A"-ish one had a pernt, but as long as she's posted here, it seems she has oppositional disorder pertaining to anything and everything that I've ever commited to public review.

If I were to ever state that the sky was green, a solidified orgasm would burst through her abdomen. And then she would comment about how blindness was poured through her shit-skirt, or something along the same "humorous" lines.


NAME: g13
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 07:18 pm
werd to big berd.


NAME: GirlyGirl
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 05:57 pm
So, who's celebrating a certain some peoples birthdays this evening?


NAME: x7
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 05:54 pm
someone's got the spirit up in him.

but i fear miss a has a pernt.


NAME: Miss A
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 04:58 pm
The first step to getting old is denial, the only thing that post is missing is words like "hep-cat" and stories about how you used to have to walk uphill for 9 miles, both ways, just to get to the bar. And not because anyone forced you to, but because you WANTED to get drunk.


NAME: shit
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 04:27 pm
ray the dirty d is in town. that dude partys like a mother fucker so give me a call. don't shit yourself bitch.


NAME: Niel
Friday, May 16th, 2003 @ 09:04 am
That's a godamn good post.
Fuck Nature.
Here's to not going out like a chump.


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