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| I'M BACK! |  | Category: Social
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003 @ 11:46 pm
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 I just flew back in town yesterday, and boy is my penis tired! Cause, I, um, swung it around like a helicoper. Don't tell anybody... and the pictures are staying in my private stash. Mustache.
I've been steady drinking since getting back, trying to make up for lost time. I doubt this will be much of an issue tommorow when my 3 day July Fourth weekend starts. I plan to kill myself with booze. KILL myself I say!
What's the plans, peeps? Who's partying where and how hard is what I want to know. I've sat at home countless weekends, then when I plan to live it up, I get sent to the ass-end of the country for a week. I am ready to die for fun. I will let you punch me in the face if you have an ice cold beer in your hand when you do it. Why? I don't know! Maybe the act will force the alcohol into my bloodstream via violent osmosis. I'm making this up as I go along people!
So, barbeques? Nights out? Poolside escapades? Fireworks? What's the dealio? You people must have planned veritable mountains of fun in my absence. I will drink myself to death, then the first person who bought me a drink gets to whip out defibrillators, rub them together, yell "BEER!", then shock me back to life and hand me another one. See that "beer" thing was a play on "clear" that people say when they... ah shit, nevermind.
Well, fill up the comments with your plans of three day weekend greatness, so that I may dip into it with my cowboy hat and drink from its brim like the badass half-cowboy, half-pirate, half-ninja that I am.
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