| Category: Social Friday, January 16th, 2004 @ 09:59 am
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Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where's the good stuff man?
--Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go BOOM!
--Why is that good?
Well, huh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs asses.
--I would never do that cause I'm gonna be a veteranarian.
Well there ya go! Some one shoves an M-80 up a bullfrogs butt, blows 'em to pieces. He comes back to you to fix it. You win twice brother, it's good biz!
So you're gonna tell me that you don't have no Black Cats, no Roman Candles or Screamin' Mimis?
--No.
Aw, come on man. You don't got no Lady Fingers, Buzz Bottles, Snicker Bombs, Church Burners, Finger Blasters, Gut Busters, Zip A Dee Do Dahs, or Crap Flappers?
--No, I don't
You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no Whistlin' Bungholes, Spleen Splitters, Whisker Biskits, Honky Lighters, Husker Dos, Husker Don'ts, Cherry Bombs, Nipsey Dazers, with or without the Scooter Stick, or one single Whistlin Kitty Chaser?
--No.
Wha?!?
--cause snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.
Well that might be your problem. It's not what you like, it's the consumer.
--Joe Dirt
And with that I'm reminded that I never gave a proper rundown of my New Years festivities. Not a whole lot happened, just a lot of drinking, drifting back and forth from Matt and Amy's party across the street, introducing our yankee friends to the unacceptably southern names for various fireworks, and yes, more drinking. That's about that.
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