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| THE SOCKS |  | Category: Rant
Friday, May 14th, 2004 @ 01:50 pm
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 So I have all these black socks in my closet. Every morning I take a pair and sit down on the edge of my bed and try to put my socks on. The problem is I have about 3 or 4 pairs of socks in which one of the socks is for some reason way too small.
I slip them on, give them a healthy tug, and one will always stop with my heel still around halfway in the ribbed elastic part of the sock. This unto itself is no reason for alarm, but for some reason has begun to drive me into a furious fit of anger. I hurl the socks across the room screaming obscenities at my girlfriend for having put me through this horrendous debacle once more! How dare she put the too small sock pairs in my closet again!
"Haven't we been through this enough already? In the pair is one sock that is too small, you said that you would use them and not mix them in with my good socks again," I say.
I then begin thinking what I will tell the paramedics when they arrive to try to put her back together again. I curse God himself for having the gall to yet again put me through this Jobe-ian test of patience.
Then I realize I am about to kill people over a sock, so I sit for a moment pondering my own inability to cope with minor, random unpleasantness and begin to feel pretty silly. I wonder how mere seconds ago I was in a blinding rage over socks. I walk over to the closet and grab another pair, and the cycle of life repeats itself.
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