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THE GOOG
Category: Social
Thursday, September 30th, 2004 @ 09:38 am
Posted By Brent
I don't know what's going on, but I've noticed my interaction with a certain sect of society has increased lately. This is a group of people who, from heretoforth, will be reffered to as "The Googs".

The name is derived from the 15th century Welsh, in which one who believed... just kidding. It actually comes from Pete, who had a friend with a googley eyeball, so, in proper Pete peculiarity (alliteration!), he fashioned this gent a nickname out of thin air. From henceforth, this young lad would be known simply as the Goog.

Anyway, getting back on track, as of late, I've been encountering googs out the wazoo. Googs at work, googs working the counters at convenience stores, googs standing in line behind me at the supermarket, etc. The funny thing is, I've also been talking to alot of "eye contact avoiders." The kind of people who, when holding a conversation with you, will shift their line of sight down, and a little to the left. Now this bugs the shit out of me, but I get by.

The problem arises when I'm constantly being bombarded by conversations from both googs and eye-avoiders. The problem is as follows: A goog approaches me and initiates a conversation. I raise my eyes in the all too familiar "I am acknowleging the existence of this conversation" eye contact lock. Eeep! Not only is it a goog, but one of their eyes is making contact with mine, and one is shifted down and to the left!

Thus a problem develops: Is the eye contact eye the good eye, and the other is the goog? Or, are they an eye-contact-avoider, and their goog eye is the one looking at me while the perfectly healthy one is busy avoiding eye contact? My eyes start darting back and forth from the dead on eye to the suspected goog, searching for any sign of life in either so that I can lock on to the sentient eye. Of course, while doing this, I become fully aware that it looks like I'm totally checking out their goog, but what the fuck am I going to do, ask them which of their eyes is the fucked up one? I mean, I'm not a dick. Mostly.



Comments

NAME: shit
Friday, October 1st, 2004 @ 12:49 am
i have to tell you about my friend "big shirt" one day.


NAME: g13
Thursday, September 30th, 2004 @ 03:32 pm
I realize it smacks of navel-gazing to have the first and only comment about a post come from the writer, but after rereading this, I've decided to make "encountering googs out the wazoo" my new mantra.


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