| RANDOM QUOTE | You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-Al Capone | |
| |
| |
| | |
| |
|
| glitch13.com :.::.: ..:.::. :.:::...
Home | About | Feedback | Archive | RSS
| VIDEO GAME AWARDS |  Well, I tried to watch Spike TV's Video Game Awards and I have to say, "Jesus Christ, are you fuckers retarded?!"
Ok, I sat down to watch this pile with a completely open mind. Maybe for the first time in my life a large audience will get to experience the subtle nuances of gaming culture. The hype, the hope, the thrill, and the letdown. What games truly shone, and what games truly... ughhh... whatever big, herky turds do.
Yeah, right.
First of all, it was hosted by Snoop "I Have No Goddamn Charisma" Doggy "Uncomfortable in Front of a Camera" Dog, and I got as far as watching him horribly interact with his own avatar from Def Jam Fight for New York (a game I really want to play by the way). The Scorsese-esque scene climatically ended with them both having a shamefully mixed verbal confrontation capped by the "Dogfather" turning his virtual self "off" with an XBox controller that he had mysteriously been holding in his hand since introducing the whole show. I'd love to know where the producers got the idea that this man was in any way related to the video game culture just as much as I'd like to know where they dreamed up the vision that he had enough words in his vocabulary to hold a stage for 10 minutes. I mean this isn't a rap song where you can rhyme "dick", "chronic", and "hoes" over and over for four and a half minutes.
Next up was him introducing the nominees for the first category, "Best Human Female." No mention if this was about voice actors in games, fictional characters, or just bouncy titty chicks from games, just the introduction. An introduction which was started by him saying something about females then holding his hands in the air while two half naked chicks descended on wires on either side of the stage.
I got up and made a straight bourbon.
When I came back the two vacuous retards were on both sides of Mr. Dogg, woodenly reciting some forgettable shit that was obviously being read off a teleprompter. I didn't even sit back down, I marched straight to my computer room where I looked at porn for about 4 minutes, installed the new version of Cedega, realized Valve had broken Steam compatibility with Cedega again, looked at some more pron, then decided to write a news post about the painful experience I just had.
|
Comments
|
 |
| | |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
