once there were some people named ROMANS who spoke a language called LATIN (why it wasn't called roman is beyond me). their latin language worked pretty well for them, so when they went to see how people were living on the rest of their block they took it with them instead of learning to say "fuckin cunt und shit und piss" when they met the germans up the street and "wee air so mush bethair thin yew" from the frenchies and "what a tiresome day in the fields... i'm all fagged out!" from the english and "heeeey, ese. joo wanna go pick up some chicas and smoke some blunts?" from the spics.

but everyone else kind of liked latin, so they used some of it even if it was only just a little.

fast forward a few hundred years. the germans have had enough signifigant cultural events that they can call themselves german. and their language is pretty much only spoken within the walls of their country because anytime they try to leave and teach it to anyone else they get in a lot of shit for it. the french... well, they're still french and they're trying to decide whether they should speak french or english. and there aren't too many other places in the world that are all that interested in speaking that throat-clearing language anyway. english is getting ready to officially get its name changed to "earth-ese". and then we get to the spics and their beloved spanish, which owes so much to latin.

the spics spread out all over the place, and everywhere they've gone they've taken their language. but they tend to change it. so it's not ever really spanish anymore, but it's kind of spanish so they don't bother coming up with a new name. add that to the fact that none of them have had any real culturally signifigant events besides occasionally producing insanely beautiful offspring and bringing taco bell to the world (oh, not to mention Miguel- but that's something else entirely) which would allow them to differentiate themselves from the rest of the unwashed spanish-speaking world, and you've got a proud race of people whose only claim to unity is the fact that the languages they speak are all rooted in...

LATIN.