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Category: Personal
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 @ 02:33 pm
Posted By Brent
After reading an article on kuro5hin, I've realized I'm a comfort addict. It's a good read, at least for someone in my position.

It's not the first time I've thought it. I go back and forth all the time trying to figure out the source of my lack of motivation. I usually end up pinning it on either substance abuse, age, or this comfort thing.

Well, after removing substance abuse (with the exception of alcohol, my precious) by just putting a halt to drug and tobacco use, things seemed better, but I still can't seem to do anything but sit around when I get home from work.

After paying close attention to those around me, I'm fairly confident I can rule out age since I have friends, Pete for example, older than me, and ten times more active than myself. Granted, he's not older than me by a huge margin, but even having people the same age as me that aren't suffering from this proves my point well enough.

This of course leaves the "comfort addiction." When there's nothing causing any discomfort in your life, how do you ever know when anything good's happening? It all just sort of pales together into this haze of comfort. After experiencing comfort alone for a long enough period of time, it fades into just being.

I'm left with a situation I don't really know how to remedy. I want to want to do shit more that I actually just want to do shit. I fully realize that I've done this to myself. Allowed myself to stay home and drink, allowed myself to become domesticated, allowed myself to be happy with comfort alone.

I'm trying to reverse it now, but it's seeming kind of forced. I have fun when I go out, but I have no actual motivation to go out. I just have to kick myself out the door and have a situation to inject myself into. Having fun is a fucking hassle. When you're young, it always seems hip to project yourself as the jaded asshole -- it's a lot less fun in practice.


NAME: ian
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 @ 09:48 pm
asperger's comment= tongue in cheek

ds comment= absolute sincerity

NAME: g13
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 @ 08:16 pm
I can't tell if you're vacillating between tongue and cheek and sincerity, or just standing firmly in it. Autism?

it could just be a natural preference for low to no population entertainment.

I'd be inclined to possibly agree except for the fact that it's unlike the old me, and I'm quite displeased with it. I'm not saying I have some ailment, or even that I'm unhappy. I just want to DO STUFF and I can't seem to motivate myself.

NAME: ian
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 @ 07:54 pm
i know. just saying. and i kind of screwed it up by just listing negative attributes.

it doesn't have to be laziness or whatever. it could just be a natural preference for low to no population entertainment.

or maybe even asperger's syndrome.

i'd just hate to see you come off of an addiction and so quickly have a "new" one in the stable.

on another note, you're free to smoke anytime. i'd like my ds by christmas.

NAME: g13
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 @ 05:50 pm
I don't believe I passed the buck at any point in that tirade there.

NAME: ian
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 @ 04:18 pm
oh, so that's what it is. i'm not lazy, or socially inept or any of that- i'm addicted to comfort.

come on, man. don't do this.