Alien Space Pod?

Well, when this first loaded up, I'm sure you thought I'd remark on the umbrella. But no, it's far more sinister than that. On closer inspection, you'll notice a spherical potrusion from this poor girl's fart box. It's my guess that it's either an alien space pod sent to Earth to study our creation and viewing of pornagraphy so that distant alien races can better understand how perverted we are, or it's an alien space egg that hatches when porn stars reach orgasm while degrading themselves by sticking anti-weather devices in their vaginas. I haven't come to a solid conclusion yet.

We know little about whatever alien race planted this device, all we know it that we must see this as a threat. My God, just look at it!

Folliage?

Well, I can only guess this is some kind of stick, but I can't be sure. I mean, I'm pretty familiar with women totally degrading themselves with foriegn objects, but when the object is unidentifiable, it gets a little ridiculous. As a side note, you may also notice strange grey boxes at the top on both sides of the picture. Are those just blocking more evidence of the conspiracy, or are they merely someone blocking out the logo of the depraved website from which this picture originated?

Upon further study, the picture reveals something else: Now, I'm sure there are women in the world who don't mind having untreated lumber crammed into their neither regions. But to go ahead and do it- but only under the condition that it has a condom on it- is pretty fucking weird if you ask me. That is of course if it is a condom, it may be another alien space pod.