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| PR0N |  | Category: pr0n
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 @ 02:35 pm
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For those of you old timers that have been coming to this site for a while, you may remember I used to post pornography from time to time. I don't really know why I did, and I can't really say why I stopped. Those motivations have been lost to the annals of time.
The reason I bring this up at all is because I was thinking about my taste in nekkid photography lately, and I've noticed a few measurable changes. The most obvious of these changes has been "quality over quantity". I no longer try to get whole sets of images (or "series" as they're called in pervert circles), but rather look for single instances of spectacular quality. I'd have to deduce this is mainly due to the "numbing" of my pervert senses in the context of static imagery after years of pummeling it with way too much input.
The malaise that's taken root in its place must make me actually see the true artistic beauty inherent in the images instead of just scanning them for boobies and vaginas. Of course, that's not to say I don't still scan it for genitalia then feverishly whip one out, it's just that I do it to more classy stuff these days. Or maybe I'm just trying to explain my porn-burnout in a highbrow manner. Anyway, without further ado, here are the two sexiest pictures I've seen in a while (thumbnails blurred for your protection). You'll probably notice how my tastes have changed, get to clickin':
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| A RETURN TO AN OLD CONCEPT | | Category: pr0n
Saturday, June 1st, 2002 @ 06:14 pm
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Those of you who have been here long enough (yes, all of you) may remember that there used to be features here and that one of the features was a little thing called "What The Fuck Is That?" WTFIT? was a chance to show off rather odd little bits of pr0n. This wasn't just stuff where you're left thinking that the people were kind of weird looking or their outfits were odd. It was for the truly weird, where you just don't understand what's going on or maybe you do but you don't know who it's supposed to appeal to. This was all pretty much under glitch's jurisdiction. If I'm looking for kewl nekkid pictures and I see gross things it's off to the next thing for me. However, I've recently found a couple gems. So without further ado, What The Fuck Is That?
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um...
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Okay. Now I'm of the school of guys that digs seeing hot chicks do violent stuff. So you could say I'm a straight male with a pulse. But this lady's just kind of squatting and looking at an axe. There's no blood anywhere, so nobody's been hurt yet. And she doesn't really look all that murderous or anything right now, so I doubt anyone is going to get hurt. I guess on a certain level this works like some weird-ass rebus level like when glitch calls a vaheena an axe wound. But she's still got her panties on, so even that's a pretty big stretch. I don't know. It's weird.
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okay.
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More on the same theme, I guess. Hot girl and weapon. I'm lost. At least she looks like she's ready to gut somebody. And what's with the sausage curtains??? Ohhh... I get it. Axe wound. Meat curtains. HAHA. This world is dumb.
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| WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, POST PORN | | Category: pr0n
Tuesday, March 12th, 2002 @ 06:06 pm
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You don't need to read this caption to justify looking at the boobs.
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- Cox's News server - Down
- The Max Board - Down
- Morpheus - Down
- Gnutella - Unreliable
And there we have the current state of my porn scouring outlets. Porn is an important thing in my life, not just for enjoyment, but for peace of mind. Awhile ago, Foo mentioned that most online porn junkies (like he and myself) don't obsessively download porn because they're perverted freaks who need visual carnal stimulation at all times (that just how it starts), its that you begin to compulsively obsess over the mere act of downloading the porn. Its not that you're actually going to lay back and stroke it to the entire Sylvia Saint collection if you get it; its that you need to get it to feel sane. You see a sexy picture of a fucking knee, you need to find every picture of that knee that has ever existed to fill that fucking black empty pit in your soul. Without the entire collection, you are nothing.
Now, he's a worse case than I, but I still have my quirks, and I'd have to say, one of the worse things that can arise in this situation is being without. I've found few alternative sources other than the handful I named above, but they just don't do. I don't know if its just that I have come to associate these sources with goodness, and can't stand to get my fix anywhere else, or if its just that I haven't found anything that parallels them, and I'm leaning toward the latter.
So, my faithful (and you not so faithful that have just googled in from a search for vulva pump or large labia) I need you to fill my coffers (from here out referred to as THE COMMENTS SECTION) with a lot of lusty links. Somewhere I can go to view a bounty of beautiful butts, an assemblage of astute asses, a plethora of pleasing posteriors. And maybe a few lesbians peeing on each other just to keep it interesting.
Anyways, throw down the URLs to your favorite porn haunts and lets build a pile of links so damned big, God himself won't be able to ignore it (or just enough to give me something to think about when I'm in the shower tonight, which ever comes first).
  
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| PORN REVISITED | | Category: pr0n
Friday, February 8th, 2002 @ 11:34 pm
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Visions Of Booty Cheeks Dance In My Head
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I've been looking at porn online for longer than I care to remember. This is no problem in and of itself, just the information I'm becoming more and more privy to, due to me noticing certain trends during my rampant parusals, bothers me.
I have a friend, lets call him foo, who can't even begin to get emotionally, much less physically, stimulated by a picture unless he has the entire series of said picture (context definition of "series": then entire collection of all photographs taken in any given photo shoot). This to me is completely demystifying the entire experience. An example of what I see when looking at a complete series follows:
- Camera man: "Ok, pull your panties down to your ass." *Snap*
- Camera man: "Now bend over and look sexy." *Snap*
- Pr0n Chick: "Like this?"
- Camera man: "Yeah, sure." *Snap*
- Camera man: "Good, now turn around and pull your shirt up over one tit." *Snap*
- Camera man: "This is great! Now bend over and spread your ass cheeks." *Snap*
- Camera man: "Honey, you are so beautiful." *Snap*
- Camera man: "Put a finger in your ass." *Snap*
- Camera man: (Same shit, increasing in hardcoredness) *Snap*
- Camera man: (Lather, rinse, repeat.) *Snap*
You see what I'm getting at here? Complete destruction of the fantasy you're supposed to be envisioning. Its not that when I'm looking at single shots I can imagine myself locked in a room with all these random women, its just that I don't have the ever present knowledge that the whole thing is staged. Not only because they're in series, but also because you see almost every turn, every hair flip, every bend over happening scene by scene; you could probably make a flip book out of it.
Beyond destroying the fantasy, it also makes "the formula" a lot more noticeble. You know the formula:
- 2 Pictures: Girl with Clothes on
- 3 Pictures: Varying states of toplessness
- 3 Pictures: Topless showing butt
- 5 Pictures: Taking off Lower clothing
- 1 Picture(MAYBE): Good ass shot
- 15+ Pictures: OB/GYN Exam Time
Now the numbers may not be correct, but all in all, you could probably scale them up or down and it would be pretty damned close to the real deal. Now there are series that I do keep, but this is an extreme rarity. Like I said before in an earlier post, I keep maybe 1% of 1% of all the porn I look at, and the series I keep would probably occupy about .5% of that amount.
What can I say? Just gimme a clean shot of a nice butt, and I'm content.
  
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| BOOTILY STINKILY | | Category: pr0n
Saturday, January 26th, 2002 @ 06:40 pm
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Spikes, Butts, and Fishnets.
All That Is Good.
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Well, enough time has passed for a good ole porno post. My lord butts are cool.
I was thinking the other day about why I even post porn on here from time to time. Its not because it will drive up traffic, god knows the people who come here for porn just grab the porn, whip it a few times and move on, not reading a single shred of text anywhere. Then there's the fact that I don't want to be popular for having massive amounts of porn, lord knows the E-conomy doesn't have enough money flying around anymore to support free porn sites, and I'm no exception to that rule.
I suppose it all comes down to the fact that I look at a lot of porn online, and I keep roughly one percent of one percent of it. Naturally, one would assume that due to this, I have some high quality shit on my hands here (taste and mileage may vary), so of course I would want to show it off; but that theory doesn't really hold any water.
Maybe its just because this is my little neck of the cyber woods, I'm quite proud of it, and I like to display the female form on it. Use the site as a sort of pedestal to show the world some nice buns.
Who knows. I do know one thing: Ass is Good. Period. It was a wise man, he who invented ass. Except hairy ass. And that cottage cheese ass thing. Those were bad inventions; but a well formed double cheek is a true work of art. I'd tip my hat to the creator, if I thought he was actually kicking around up there.
Well, that's about it. I could fill untold volumes with my praise of the female bum, but I doubt that dipping a large ladle full of my own obsession, and pouring over the heads of the unwashed masses would keep anyone coming back here more. So take this post at face value and tune in tomorrow or so when me and my writers discuss the usual range of topics including, but not limited to, the social effect of lipstick lesbianism, and the political ramifications of the Camel Press.
   
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