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BALL WIRE
Category: Personal
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 @ 09:46 am
Posted By Brent

So I tried to wax my balls last night. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever try this. I actually drew blood. Well actually I didn't try to wax my balls or draw blood, that was all Brenda's doing.

To understand why this is such an impossible feat, one must first understand what waxing entails. First you heat up wax and, using a little spatula thingy, brush it on the area in question, which in this example is my sack. Then you place a strip of this cotton material over the wax and press down firmly to fully adhere the strip to the wax. At this point you are supposed to, and here's the kicker, "pull the skin taut" and quickly rip the strip away in the opposite direction of hair growth.

Ignoring the fact that the direction of ball hair grown is about as uniform as a Mexican police force, trying to get the skin on your sack taut is an exercise in futility. Having the amount of experience with my sack as I do, I can pretty accurately say that the phrases "taut skin" and "a dude's balls" should never be in the same sentence. It was like trying to remove duct tape from silly putty, and if you can imagine that scenario, just imagine what condition the silly putty would be in once you successfully extricated it from the tape. That's what my balls looked like.

Except silly putty doesn't bleed.




Comments

NAME: XenuSux
Monday, May 16th, 2005 @ 04:15 pm
Veet works great. Doesn't burn. Doesn't stink. And most importantly...doesn't draw blood or tears.


NAME: suzq
Sunday, May 15th, 2005 @ 09:50 am
That is the funniest shit I've heard in a long time. I can always count on Brent for a good storie.


NAME: scott
Friday, May 13th, 2005 @ 08:18 pm
Looks like pictures from Fix's birthday party.


NAME: Feasty
Friday, May 13th, 2005 @ 06:13 pm
I approve this thread

8/10



NAME: shit
Friday, May 13th, 2005 @ 12:16 am
the doutch is the greatest.


NAME: The Doutch
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 @ 10:16 pm
I always thought of you as a pretty smart guy.What in the hell were you thinking when this idea arose?That story sent chills up my spine!


NAME: scott
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 @ 04:32 pm
that is quite possibly the funniest story i've read in quite awhile.


NAME: brent
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 @ 12:59 pm
Nope, I stopped well before I got down that far.


NAME: shit
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 @ 12:36 pm
did you try and get the taint?


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