Today John and I were talking about his lack of cable television and how it impairs his knowledge of pop culture.

"I kind of pride myself on not knowing all this stupid shit," he said.

"Good, I rather enjoy being the pedant when I get to explain these things to you," I retorted, pronouncing pedant like 'pe-d&nt.

One of his eyebrows raised. This was baiting at its best. "I'm pretty sure you mean pedant," he shot back, pronouncing it pa-'dant.

And here's where the video game of my life pauses, and I have two menu options to choose from to continue the conversation:

• Gallant would tell John that he had always thought it was pronounced that way too, but just recently Scott had corrected him and that he went and looked it up and found that he in fact had been mispronouncing it.
• Goofus, being the opportunist he is, would stare John in the eye, then thrust out his hand in an intimidating manner and say, "I bet you fifteen fucking bucks I'm right."

I leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure out which path I chose.