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THE FIRST DAY AT KINKO'S
Category: Personal
Friday, October 28th, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
Posted By Brent

This is a rather short story, but one that should be told none the less. It's set at a Kinko's in uptown New Orleans, a Kinko's that doesn't exist anymore because a coffee house now occupies the charming stone building it used to be in.

Now this isn't really a "first day at the new job horror story" for two reasons, the first being that I can't really say for sure if it was really my first day but it was definitely whithin the first week (this was eight years ago, it's all I can do to hang on to the actual memory, much less place it in an exact timeline). The second reason being that this didn't actually involve me, I just got to witness it.

Anyway, on with the anecdote. I'm new so I made sure to show up a good bit early as to make a nice impression with my new bosses and such. Unfortunately there was a bit of a rush at the counter when I arrived, so one of the computer guys told me I could plop down at a free computer and surf the web until my shift started or the manager got time to show me a few things.

I sat there for a few minutes reading PlanetQuake or whatever the hell I read back then, when all of a sudden a heard a commotion coming from the wad of customers at the counter. Not wanting to contribute to the growing scene this person was making, I never turned my head from the monitor, and this is something I will regret for the rest of my life. Here's the content of the commotion:

Manager: Here you go sir.
Angry Customer: This is all fucked up!
Manager: I'm sorry? What's the problem with your order?
Angry Customer: It's all fucked up! You fucked it all up!
Manager: Well, we can redo it for you if you're not happy.
(Manager turns and throws contents of order in the garbage)
Angry Customer: What the fuck are you doing?
Manager: We are going to redo your order, sir.
Angry Customer: This place fucking sucks, you fuck everything up. Why can't you fucking do anything right?
(At this point, another customer in the line turns to Angry Customer)
Other Customer: Excuse me sir, but I'm a customer here and I've always been happy with their service!
Angry Customer: Oh yeah?! Well you shut your shitty mouth!

The argument abruptly ended there when a guy behind the counter told the guy to "get the fuck out of the building before I call the cops," but that guy's snappy one liner has stuck with me over the years.

Shut your shitty mouth. Do you think that one's a well used piece of his expletive repertoire, or was it some raw, straight off the cuff, profane creation? It's a question that's plagued me for years and I suppose I'll go to the grave not knowing the answer.




Comments

NAME: Ben
Thursday, November 3rd, 2005 @ 03:52 pm
That story made me laugh.I needed that right about now.


NAME: scott
Sunday, October 30th, 2005 @ 05:27 pm
Had my first day of work today. There was like some sort of pep rally. We met at 8. There were several supervisory people that were awake due to what could easily have been coffee or energy drinks of some sort.

And then there was this guy who I can only guess must have been born on Kokomo. He was so overly awake even all of the awake people had to pass comment on him. I mean, he was frightening. At one point he even said that he was talking so much and so loud that he was getting light-headed.

I guess that drug test place I went to was just a front for a urine fetishist warehouse, because there's no way that guy could have gotten through.


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