This is a rather short story, but one that should be told none the less. It's set at a Kinko's in uptown New Orleans, a Kinko's that doesn't exist anymore because a coffee house now occupies the charming stone building it used to be in.

Now this isn't really a "first day at the new job horror story" for two reasons, the first being that I can't really say for sure if it was really my first day but it was definitely whithin the first week (this was eight years ago, it's all I can do to hang on to the actual memory, much less place it in an exact timeline). The second reason being that this didn't actually involve me, I just got to witness it.

Anyway, on with the anecdote. I'm new so I made sure to show up a good bit early as to make a nice impression with my new bosses and such. Unfortunately there was a bit of a rush at the counter when I arrived, so one of the computer guys told me I could plop down at a free computer and surf the web until my shift started or the manager got time to show me a few things.

I sat there for a few minutes reading PlanetQuake or whatever the hell I read back then, when all of a sudden a heard a commotion coming from the wad of customers at the counter. Not wanting to contribute to the growing scene this person was making, I never turned my head from the monitor, and this is something I will regret for the rest of my life. Here's the content of the commotion:

Manager: Here you go sir.
Angry Customer: This is all fucked up!
Manager: I'm sorry? What's the problem with your order?
Angry Customer: It's all fucked up! You fucked it all up!
Manager: Well, we can redo it for you if you're not happy.
(Manager turns and throws contents of order in the garbage)
Angry Customer: What the fuck are you doing?
Manager: We are going to redo your order, sir.
Angry Customer: This place fucking sucks, you fuck everything up. Why can't you fucking do anything right?
(At this point, another customer in the line turns to Angry Customer)
Other Customer: Excuse me sir, but I'm a customer here and I've always been happy with their service!
Angry Customer: Oh yeah?! Well you shut your shitty mouth!

The argument abruptly ended there when a guy behind the counter told the guy to "get the fuck out of the building before I call the cops," but that guy's snappy one liner has stuck with me over the years.

Shut your shitty mouth. Do you think that one's a well used piece of his expletive repertoire, or was it some raw, straight off the cuff, profane creation? It's a question that's plagued me for years and I suppose I'll go to the grave not knowing the answer.