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AN AXE THAT IS ON FIRE. MOST DEFINITELY.
Category: Misc
Monday, March 26th, 2001 @ 11:46 pm
...and that's all i have to say about our most recent poll.

but in other news, i'm sure you're all wondering what is so important that i've got to share it with all dozen of you. and that's a fine wonder to wonder, since i'm sure you've all noticed the prevailing trend in my posts to strictly keep it to things of worldly importance. okay, maybe not worldly, but certainly relevant to the interests of people beyond me. so in keeping with that general theme, i'm going to tackle eminem and brandon lee today. and if you manage to snap a pic or two you can sell them to gay porn sites. i'm feeling that generous today.

for starters, here's what got me on this little bit of rage. for those of you who aren't likely to follow the link, basically it's a little blurb about how if another crow movie gets made, eminem is in talks to play the bad guy. and none other than dmx is going to be the crow. and the author goes on about how this is all an insult to the memory of brandon lee. and that brings us up to where i am.

okay, i'm not going to tackle the dmx thing. more like just address it. i saw "romeo must die". the first five minutes were pretty choice. the absolutely for-no-good-reason special effects that showed x-rays of bones being broken while they were being broken were pretty cool. jet li is always cool. even the part where they made a joke about whoever that singer lady was was pretty cool. something in the movie that left me completely unmoved was the "performance" given by dmx. (kinda like tricky's bit in the fifth element. except that that movie ruled and tricky at least has a really cool voice.) it was like since they had a sorta famous r&b singer they need a sorta famous rapper too. he didn't do anything that couldn't have been done at least as well as some unknown who would have cost pennies to the dollars that they paid him to be in the movie for ten minutes. besides, dmx ain't that cool and on to the next thing.

tackling portion #1- eminem is not that fucking cool. now this isn't your usual bit where the white guy says he doesn't like rapper x because he just doesn't get all that business about people talking over a drum machine. i like a fair amount of rap, really. if i'm flipping through channels on tv, i'm more likely to stop for a rap video than any other kind. i just don't see why eminem is suddenly getting attention for rapping about doing bad things. gravediggaz, anyone? is it because he's white? because he's got such cool hair? is it because his voice and style of delivery are laden with such gravity that we are all compelled to sit up and take notice? got me. i guess i just don't get all that business about people talking over a drum machine.

tackling portion #2- now if you'll kindly direct your attention to the comments section, you'll see that glitch13 pretty much summed it up when he saw this in a much shorter form. except the part about brandon lee having looks. i don't even know that he had those. his dad was bruce lee. wow. b-grade action guy dies shooting a goth-flavored action movie. and i know glitch13 can laugh and say i was pretty jazzed about this back when, but he was too. i saw this a year or so ago and couldn't stop wincing. except the part where that one guy calls that bad guy an ass hair. that rules to this very day. other than that, brandon lee wasn't anything special. it's like saying someone or something cheapens the legacy of jean-claude van damme. what legacy? obviously staged fight scenes and the ability to read a script? he should have gotten a posthumous oscar or something i guess. actually, fuck all this. dmx is as fine an actor as brandon lee ever was. and since the bad guys always get killed in action movies, eminem can be in it, too.

i'm feeling that generous today.


Comments

NAME: mr.fix
Friday, March 30th, 2001 @ 11:40 pm
didn't ever'body get to be the crow in the comic book? and umm... oh yes i'm about to get ms.a prego while talking about my dad over a drum machine then at the time of the childs birth i will laugh a little bit and there for name the child snickers...
now every one say duder and be blown away...
along the same vein when is dmx gonna' play batman?
and...never mind. i'm sorry. that is all.


NAME: glitch13
Wednesday, March 28th, 2001 @ 10:39 pm
that would be a Bad Thing(tm).


NAME: ian the trogydae
Tuesday, March 27th, 2001 @ 07:04 pm
but how about someone who's famous because their dead dad talked over drum machines?


NAME: glitch13
Tuesday, March 27th, 2001 @ 04:39 pm
I dunno who I have the least respect for: someone who is famous because of their dead dad, or someone who is famous for 'talking over drum machines.'


NAME: foo
Tuesday, March 27th, 2001 @ 09:36 am
You guys miss the point...
Eminem and DMX are such fuckos that they WOULD taint the legacy of Jean Claude Van Damme (EVEN AFTER the Dennis Rodman flick!!!)


NAME: ian the trogydae
Tuesday, March 27th, 2001 @ 12:41 am
damn.
let me finish up first. i was getting to that part.


NAME: glitch13
Tuesday, March 27th, 2001 @ 12:20 am
OH PISH!
the dude was in what? two movies? maybe three? the only one's i know of were some B action movie (a la 'Movies for Guys Who Like Movies'), you know the kind that Ice T is always in, and the other was the Crow, which at the time was cool (cause i was like 17), but has now drifted into the realm of "It was only cool cause the dude actually died making the movie" sort of kitch.
His memory? Oh fuck you and your horribly wacked sense of celebrity. All that dude had was good looks and a good name.<- that period is to be said out loud.


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