but in other news, i'm sure you're all wondering what is so important that i've got to share it with all dozen of you. and that's a fine wonder to wonder, since i'm sure you've all noticed the prevailing trend in my posts to strictly keep it to things of worldly importance. okay, maybe not worldly, but certainly relevant to the interests of people beyond me. so in keeping with that general theme, i'm going to tackle eminem and brandon lee today. and if you manage to snap a pic or two you can sell them to gay porn sites. i'm feeling that generous today.

for starters, here's what got me on this little bit of rage. for those of you who aren't likely to follow the link, basically it's a little blurb about how if another crow movie gets made, eminem is in talks to play the bad guy. and none other than dmx is going to be the crow. and the author goes on about how this is all an insult to the memory of brandon lee. and that brings us up to where i am.

okay, i'm not going to tackle the dmx thing. more like just address it. i saw "romeo must die". the first five minutes were pretty choice. the absolutely for-no-good-reason special effects that showed x-rays of bones being broken while they were being broken were pretty cool. jet li is always cool. even the part where they made a joke about whoever that singer lady was was pretty cool. something in the movie that left me completely unmoved was the "performance" given by dmx. (kinda like tricky's bit in the fifth element. except that that movie ruled and tricky at least has a really cool voice.) it was like since they had a sorta famous r&b singer they need a sorta famous rapper too. he didn't do anything that couldn't have been done at least as well as some unknown who would have cost pennies to the dollars that they paid him to be in the movie for ten minutes. besides, dmx ain't that cool and on to the next thing.

tackling portion #1- eminem is not that fucking cool. now this isn't your usual bit where the white guy says he doesn't like rapper x because he just doesn't get all that business about people talking over a drum machine. i like a fair amount of rap, really. if i'm flipping through channels on tv, i'm more likely to stop for a rap video than any other kind. i just don't see why eminem is suddenly getting attention for rapping about doing bad things. gravediggaz, anyone? is it because he's white? because he's got such cool hair? is it because his voice and style of delivery are laden with such gravity that we are all compelled to sit up and take notice? got me. i guess i just don't get all that business about people talking over a drum machine.

tackling portion #2- now if you'll kindly direct your attention to the comments section, you'll see that glitch13 pretty much summed it up when he saw this in a much shorter form. except the part about brandon lee having looks. i don't even know that he had those. his dad was bruce lee. wow. b-grade action guy dies shooting a goth-flavored action movie. and i know glitch13 can laugh and say i was pretty jazzed about this back when, but he was too. i saw this a year or so ago and couldn't stop wincing. except the part where that one guy calls that bad guy an ass hair. that rules to this very day. other than that, brandon lee wasn't anything special. it's like saying someone or something cheapens the legacy of jean-claude van damme. what legacy? obviously staged fight scenes and the ability to read a script? he should have gotten a posthumous oscar or something i guess. actually, fuck all this. dmx is as fine an actor as brandon lee ever was. and since the bad guys always get killed in action movies, eminem can be in it, too.

i'm feeling that generous today.