So, I'm sitting here, viewing my vast collection of Silvia porn, doing what comes naturally, when it hits me (no, not that, an idea hit me, you dirty birds), "What the fuck are those fast forward, rewind, and skip buttons on windows media player for?" I mean, I watch quite a lot of videos on my computer, and I mean LOTS, but not once have I ever seen them not greyed out.
So, seeming as I was already in the mood, I began parusing my vast archives of 'love media' to see if there was a single format of video that media player supported in which you could actually fast forward through with the buttons, but I came up with nill. So I embarked on mission to find out what said buttons were for.
To my libido's dissapointment, I ditched the porn and began playing aif's, wav's, mid's, and the all ubiquitous mp3. Still came up with nothing. But did I quit there? No! Finnaly I came upon the fabled m3u file, the winamp playlist (that is mysteriously supported by WMP, or maybe it was always a standard, who knows...), and BAM! Well, semi-bam! The outer most buttons came to life, allowing one to skip from song to song in the playlist, yet the fastforward and rewind buttons still refused to cooperate.
So, this is where my journey has come to a close my friends. It would seem that Microsoft, in a feeble attemp to make their program look more functional, has put 'decoy' media navagation controls on their tool bar. I feel dirty all of a sudden, I think I need to wash this evil off me, so I'm taking a bath. Or maybe I'm just going to hit the showers to finish off the task I was in the middle of when all of this started; not unlike the the legendary question, 'How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?", the world may never know.
Of course you can always just drag the little play meter around to navagate through the movie, but if I were to bring that up at the beginning of the article, you probably wouldn't have read this far to find out the dramatic conclusion. Tsk, tsk, patience is a virtue grasshopper.
