| RANDOM QUOTE | I have 2 rare photographs. One is Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
-Stephen Wright | |
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| SOMEONE'S BREAKING THE 1/4 CENTURY MARK! |  | Category: Personal
Sunday, February 24th, 2002 @ 09:58 pm
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Dude, these mushrooms are good
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Cel - a - bration time, come on!
Well, another birthday is here, and as is the custom, we must display the privates of one of our writers. Its a lovely tradition that dates back to, well, it doesn't date back that far, but I did it for Miss A sometime ago, so I'm repeating it here.
So Ian, how doth it feel? I find it pretty funny that a lot of our friends have birthdays compacted in such a close proximity: Ian, then Jason, then Matt, Peter, Brenda, me etc... All crunched between the end of February to the end of May. I guess it would be a hedonistic time of the year for all of us, except for the fact that Ian decided to lay off the sauce for lent this year.
Speaking of which, the martini party went smashingly, and Ian finally did collapse under the peer pressure and had a drink or two.
Well, happy birthday and all that jazz. I tried to call you tonight for the swim, but alas, no answer. And that wraps up this post. Short and sweet like...
[UPDATE] On a more somber note, it appears that Cowboy Bebop is no longer part of the Adult Swim line up. Fucking bastards. I believe its been transfered over to Saturday night's Toonami shindig. That sucks for one reason: Toonami blows whale dick. I watched the swim tonight, and after Space Ghost C2C, they played about a half hour of Rocky and Motherfucking Bullwinkle (un-AdultSwimonized) and then went to the gay ass Popye shit.
See you later space cowboy.
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| OMFG! A MOVIE REVIEW! |
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Its a shame that if you dressed like this today, you'd be a 42-year-old virgin.
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I saw Brotherhood of the Wolf a couple of days ago, and alls I gots to say is "Goddamn". That is one big raging boner of a movie if I've ever seen one. Its in French, which unfortunately probably means that the French made it, but it survives this shame and outshines its origins.
I don't want to give the plot away, seeming as the only knowledge I walked into the theatre with was the statement Tycho from Penny Arcade made about the movie: "...our protagonists are ordered by the King to kick ass, look cool, and to shmoove it up wit the ladies." I have to tell you, going to see a movie with that little amount of knowledge is akin to jumping off a cliff and just hoping that someone forgot their giant air mattress in the canyon below. Especially a foreign movie. With subtitles. Made by the French.
But as life is known to throw a curve ball my way from time to time, and surprises being more memorable than already knowing the quality, the movie actually turned out being pretty damned bad ass across the board. Action: Check, Story: Check, Boobies: Check, BadAss Camera work: Check. I got so involved in fact, that after action sequences (with no dialogue) I would be confused when they would start talking in French again because I had absorbed so much of the movie that I guess my brain thought it was in english.
There is one point of compunction, however. A few of my friends (and you know who you are) are unable to suspend disbelief in a few key subjects long enough to ever enjoy this movie. So to them I would say: Sucks to be you. You're going to miss out on some pretty cool shiznit.
All in all it was definitely worth the six bucks for the ticket, so if you've got the means, I definitely recommend catching this one. Sorry to be scant on the details, but as I said before, I think my lack of knowledge about the story added to the enjoyment.
( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y
3.5 out of 4 Asses
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| THE BLEAK WORLD OF SOBRIETY | | Category: Personal
Monday, February 18th, 2002 @ 09:45 pm
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Oh Yes, You Will Be Mine...
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I've been forced into a long haul of sobriety recently. Somewhat like Ian part of if is self inflicted, and unlike him, part of it isn't. Allow me to explain...
When I first started smoking, its was cool, I could have a cigarette when I was in the mood, or I could pass; no biggie. After about three years of ever increasing addiction, one day I tried to look back on the last day I could remember where I didn't smoke a cigarette and guess what, I couldn't. I couldn't even remember a day where I didn't smoke half a pack at the least. It was an extremely shocking experience. Unfortunately for me at the time, and presently, I enjoy smoking way too much for me to ever try to take a leisurely dent in my consumption.
Snap to the present. About three weeks ago, after a particularly harsh binge, I woke up for work on a Monday, drunk off my ass from the night before. I went through the motions of my job with head pounding and stomach churning, regretting all of my actions from the previous night. That day at work I tried to think back to the most recent day in which I had not imbibed the devil's brew. You know, hooch, booze, firewater, whatever your personal pet name for the spirits are. Once again I was floored with the revelation that I could not even glimpse a day in recent history that I had not sought out to alter my frame of consciousness. I know this is starting to sound like my intro speech to a 12-step program, but trust me, its a lot more shallow.
This revelation, combined with me being sick of going to work hung over, or worse yet still drunk, along side of the fact that I was in ship shape physically before I started drinking around the house, I have decided to lay off during the week, and target my mind altering chemical abuse on the weekend. I think it should all in all be a good venture.
Then comes another catalyst to my already shaky situation with alcohol: antibiotics. I got strep last week and ended up having to take antibiotics to get it under control. The good lord saw fit to stretch this arrangement over the weekend, thus effectively voiding my self allotted poisoning during my free time. Not done yet. Then Peter calls and asks me to go fishing on Saturday. Have you ever gone fishing without drinking? I think I may be the only soul on the planet that has had to endure such hardship; its almost an impossibility.
So, here I am. Monday. A whole week ahead of me before I can allow myself to do what unfortunately comes naturally now: drink heavily. Its going to be hard, but god knows, with the help of my friends, I'm going to bring myself to the brink of death this weekend, clinging to walls and wallowing in my own sick. It should be fun.
PS: after loading that picture up, along with a brief conversation at work today, I realized that I've never had a martini. So, I think I'm going to break my designer drink hymen this weekend and pick up a bottle of gin and vermouth (if that's even what goes in the bastards, I guess I'll look it up) and have a go at it with martini in hand. Cheerio mates.
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| HE POSED THE QUESTION... |  | Category: Misc
Friday, February 15th, 2002 @ 11:12 pm
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My New Mind Teaser Technique is Unstoppable
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This was snagged off Ernie's House of Whoop Ass, where it was posted under the belief that Albert Einstein came up with it. There's some dissent around here whether or not he came up with it, but everywhere I seen it around the net, its attributed to the man himself...
There are 5 houses in five different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. These five owners drink a certain drink, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. Yet no owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same drink.
Now, given the following information...
- the Brit lives in the red house
- the Swede keeps dogs as pets
- the Dane drinks tea
- the green house is on the left of the white house
- the green house owner drinks coffee
- the person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds
- the owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill
- the man living in the house right in the center drinks milk
- the Norwegian lives in the first house
- the man who smokes blends lives next to the one who keeps cats
- the man who keeps horses lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill
- the owner who smokes Bluemaster drinks beer
- the German smokes prince
- the Norwegian lives next to the blue house
- the man who smokes blend has a neighbor who drinks water
My question is --- who owns the fish?
Einstein wrote this quiz last century. He said that 98% of the world could not figure it out.
Now, don't go peeking at it just yet...try to figure it out first.
The answer is here, so don't go posting your answer in the comments and ruin the fun for everyone else. But let me know if you got it.
It took me about half an hour to figure it out.
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| PROBABLY OVERRATED, BUT CERTAINLY SOMETHING DIFFERENT | | Category: Personal
Thursday, February 14th, 2002 @ 06:03 pm
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Alright. I like the ass pics as much as anyone around here, but it's been a few days so I guess it's time for something new. and here it is.
As glitch and girlygirl found out last night, I've officially declared that I'm trying to lay off the sauce till Easter. It's not because I've suddenly found Jesus or decided it's time to fall back on my catholic upbringing, Just been doing some thinking lately and I've realized that I can sit here all day and night and cop nihilistic or whatever and whine about the unfairness of things and how it takes so much money and such to realize any degree of personal freedom OR I can actually shut up and do something about it. So... down with the bottle for lent. This is something I've been meaning to do for a little while and then I remembered about this lent thing and being a kid and how we were supposed to give up something like chocolate or whatever. So it's as much a nod to my childhood as any love for the powerpuff girls or surly upyerass comments.
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ish.
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And just to further solidify this whole thing, I'll try to outline all my reasons and hopefully make this all make sense.
Money that would otherwise go to alcohol can go to other things. like my long-neglected compulsive media purchases.
Been noticing my pants have been a little snug lately.
I'm tired of waking up the day after in a state of panic about what I said the night before and who I said it to. This ranges from the famous "can't take foo seriously until he loses weight" argument of months ago to the rather recent incident of seeing my neighbor out walking his dog one night and yelling "kill that queer". Just kind of time to sit down and shut up a little.
I've been a little in awe of the accomplishments of someone just a few years my senior lately and I've also noticed that there's someone else just a few years my senior who i sure as hell don't want to be. So maybe if I can pull my head together for a bit and get onto some kind of track I can hopefully be closer the the former and not the latter in a few years' time.
I can sit and whine about not liking being alive and writing DNR on my forearms till the cows come home and say that it's okay if I die because I've got x much life insurance, but you know what? That insurance policy is going to expire really soon And since I lack the determination to actually snuff myself I'm going to need to make some changes so that I don't leave anybody with any undue financial burden in the event of my passing.
So there it is. I'm still cool with hanging out and I'm certainly not sitting in judgement of everyone else for continuing the inebriation. God knows i love that detached feeling. If my saying any of this makes any of you uncomfortable I understand. I can't really believe i'm doing this myself.
over and out.
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