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| NOTE ON TANNING |  | Category: Humor
Friday, February 25th, 2005 @ 09:48 am
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My junk is tanning at an abnormally accelerated rate when compared to the rest of me.
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| RELATIVITY |  | Category: Philosophy
Thursday, February 10th, 2005 @ 12:24 pm
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When I was in grade school, maybe fifth or sixth grade, my class was taken to the cafeteria to see the junior high choir sing. I remember noticing how much older these kids were compared to me and how much more mature they seemed. Every time I've conjured up that memory from that day until this one, in the mental image I have of those kids in the choir they have consistently been a good bit older than me. When I was 11, they were 14. When I was 18, they were 26. And now that I'm 28, they're a good 35 or 36 years old. My delusion doesn't end there.
The other day I was watching some TV show in which a married couple were renewing their vows on their tenth anniversary. Somehow in the course of the show it was said that they were both forty years old and I remember thinking how young they looked for forty. This then made me realize that I've been noticing a lot of people around the age of forty looking pretty sharp as of late; it hit me like a fucking lightening bolt. Forty-year-olds ain't getting better looking, I'm getting more forty-year-old looking.
Inversely, teenage girls are getting exponentially hotter, but I digress.
Do not trust your mind. Do not trust what your senses tell you about the reality in which you exist. You see the world around you through a million gauzy layers of mental filth and filters that your self preservation instincts have installed. Every now and then something comes along and accidentally snags the corner of this filter and pulls it up for a split second and you get a full on frontal view of just how ugly the world actually is when your subconscious isn't protecting your from it.
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| CITY OF GOD |
 If you're ever sitting around your house thinking, "I'm really in the mood for a movie that I will later describe as one of the best movies I've ever seen," then by all means, be sure to pick up City of God. It's a gritty, arty, poetic, and definately uber-violent look at the slums that the poor people of Rio de Janeiro are hidden from the tourists in. There's very little to say about this movie that hasn't already been more eloquently stated by The Filthy Critic, but his rundown kind of outlines the entire plot, so if you like to learn about a story as it unfolds, I would probably nix the idea of reading his review.
Anyway, Saturday night Pete and Christine came over, and after SNL was over we decided to pop this flick in. Fastforward to 2am, a time when any reasonable woman with as bad a case of the preggers as Christine has, should be at home in bed, but not a single one of us could tear ourselves away.
Anywho, since getting the NetFlix account, I was wanting to just have sort of condensed "movie review dumps" like my last one, but this movie seemed to merit its own post.
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| IN GORDON'S NAME WE PRAY |  | Category: Games
Friday, February 4th, 2005 @ 11:07 am
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 Well, Scott asked and Scott shall receive.
I was telling Scott that there's a "video stress test" included with CounterStrike: Source, and in said stress test, you are walked through a cave that contains various graphical "effects" that test how well your system renders them. One of the effects tested is surface translucency wherein the camera pans across various rotating translucent polygons with varying effects like glassblock, shimmering water, etc. One of these polygons in particular piqued my interest, a religious looking stained glass interpretation of Our Saviour of Black Mesa, Gordon Freeman, crowbar in hand.
Well, Scott asked for a few screenies and he, along with anyone else who cares, can snatch them up too. I'd love to say that they're perfect for desktop wallpapers and the like, but seeming as the camera is panning sideways and the polygon in question is rotating, there was really only two distinct times that it was actually facing you squarely, and those angles really aren't conducive to using the images for any aesthetic reasons. Maybe one day someone will make a HL2 map with the sole purpose of putting this image in an environment that lends itself more to taking eye pleasing screengrabs, but until then, this is all you get.
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| A GAGGLE OF MOVIE REVIEWS |  After recently joining NetFlix, I've had the privilege of watching a whole bunch of movies in a relatively short amount of time. Here I'll try to give a brief rundown of a few of them as to keep you dregs on the up and up with what's going on in the DVD Rental arena as of late.
Equilibrium
Many people refer to this as a sort of "poor man's Matrix." I hate to do it, but I'd kind of have to agree. It takes place in your run of the mill dystopian future that's been ripped off 1984 a million times, and people have to take medicine that strips away their emotions. This, of course, is so there's no more crime or war, or any of the crap that comes along with emotion. The main character is one of the enforcers of these "no emotion" laws, "The Grammaton Clerics," who excel in shooting the shit out of a room full of people. I'd suggest watching it for the final gunfight, if for no other reason.
Revolution OS
This is a pretty good documentary on the Linux operating system that contains interviews with Linux Torvalds, Richard Stallman, Eric Raymond, Bruce Perens, and many other influential people in the Free Software/Open Source world. Well, rather it starts off a pretty good Linux documentary, but as with anything that involves Richard Stallman, it rather quickly devolves into Stallman braying on and on about semantics while everyone else in the community tries desperately to either ignore him or make excuses for him.
Punch-Drunk Love
I really, really wanted to like this movie; I didn't. This movie builds tension almost better than any other movie I've ever seen. The anxiety level in the film grows and expands steadily like a balloon as the plot moves along, but, instead of letting it get overfilled and burst at the end, the writer just sort of lets go of the end of the balloon and it farts around the room deflating in a rather uneventful fashion.
The Stepford Wives
This remake of the 1975 classic poke at the Women's lib movement is so dumb it might actually kill you if you watch it.
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