| RANDOM QUOTE | It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-Abe Lincoln | |
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| GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD ALWAYS |  | Category: Social
Thursday, November 28th, 2002 @ 11:30 am
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today's thanksgiving so it's time to give thanks. i googled up a picture of a thanksgiving dinner and at first found it to be quite suitable.
these people are all probably family and/or friends, which i'm thankful for. they seem to be sort of well off, so i'm guessing they're employed, and that's something i'm thankful to be. nobody seems to be wearing a military uniform, and i'm thankful to not be also.
but then i realized something. there are a few things missing. so a little more googling and some photoshopping yielded a more correct picture.
now, we have a bottle of whiskey on the table. that's because i'm thankful for whiskey. and although jim beam is depicted, that doesn't mean i'm not thankful for all the other brands of whiskey. it just means that jim beam was the first bottle of whiskey i found. like three pages into the mess. i'm not thankful for all the people who named their pets whiskey and took pictures of them and put those pictures on the net. those people made my job pretty tedious. so fuck them.
also there is the guy holding the guitar. that represents rock'n'roll, which i am eternally thankful for. i guess the lady sitting next to him is dressed like a member of the white stripes fan club, and i'm certainly thankful for the stripes. but i think that's kind of a stretch. her being in their fan club, not my being thankful for them.
the dreamcast is there because i'm thankful for it. it rules like eight sheets in the wind. and once i've got the practice of burning discs for it down pat it will rule even more. emulators, mp3's, vcd's, and maybe even divx will all be thomping through my dreamcast and proving how badass it is. yea, i am verrily thankful.
the jet grind radio guy might seem redundant, but he's not. although i play that awesome kickass game on my dreamcast, jet grind radio is a pleasure unto itself. and if it weren't for jet grind radio i probably wouldn't have bought the dreamcast. so i'm totally thankful for jet grind radio.
not pictured is my scooter. although it rules and i'm way way way thankful for it, i couldn't include a scooter in the picture because it is rude to park your scooter in the dining room, especially when there's a family dinner going on. but still, i'm thankful for the voot and the pleasures obtained while riding it.
the end.
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| THE PART THAT CUTS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE, BUT THE MISS A SEX IS CONTAINED GENEROUSLY... |  | Category: Humor
Wednesday, November 13th, 2002 @ 02:42 pm
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I will now tell you a story with some words, O brothers, it is called My Summer Vacation. It is by Miss A.
One day I was walking to the shit creek. I saw a moist lady who needed help. I retarded her. She said "along a fence" , and gave me a cannon. I put it in my ovary. I then continued on my way.
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"Along a fence."
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Soon, I saw a playful rabbit. It had hurt its throat vein. I wrapped it with a bandage, and it said "squirt". I got up and kept on walking towards my destination..
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"It had hurt its throat vein."
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Soon, I stumbled across a rolling pin. I picked it up and put it in my asshole. It was getting pickled and I still had to go to the Las Vegas. I hunted as fast as I could. I finally reached the Dance City...
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"I stumbled across a rolling pin."
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"Bowling hot spears!", I said, it was closed. I started walking stoically back towards my peapod. I felt throaty about what I had accomplished!!
Indeed. End of transmission.
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