| RANDOM QUOTE | Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
-Matt Groening, Love is Hell | |
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| DEE'S YULE LOGS |  | Category: Misc
Thursday, December 26th, 2002 @ 01:34 am
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okay, so i'm late.
trust, if you could see what i had in mind to balance out the eternity of two girls making you'd thank me. not that there's anything wrong with pretty girls kissing, it's just that time goes on you know.
anyway, so i figured i'd do a drunken x-mas post and give a couple short gifts. and i needed a christmas tree graphic. so i google it up.
and not that there's anything wrong with that.
but the very next picture ruled so much more. i'm not sure why it came up, but it's got ponderous gear in it and that's good enough for the likes of me.
anyway, so on to the gift.
the small gift.
since i don't know how long cox will hold out, i'm leaving these links good for 24 hours or thereabouts. these are the first two red beans and christ recordings to be made widely available. those of you who've heard worms or have heard me sing (like at the christmas party) will know that it's not me at the mic. that's because i'm checking up on my long-expired keyboard skills on the ol' casio mt-100. you can always try grabbing this stuff from me on winMX or hell maybe if anyone here grabs it and uses whatever the hell else anyone here uses. but here's your direct chance to grab it straight from the source and not deal with incomplete files or getting cued up. (sp, i'm sure.)
so without further ado...
death stroll
let this one ride
nixxed.
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| THE ELUSIVE BI-FEM |  | Category: Sex
Wednesday, December 4th, 2002 @ 11:55 am
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Crikey! Isn't she a beaut?
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Ahh, the elusive BiFem. Until recently I had no idea what a slippery creature you could be. The world is jam packed with single horny guys, single semi-elusive women, and couples looking for a swinging good time. But the true BiFem is a rare thing indeed.
When discussing the CP, people often comment that it must be difficult to get one's girlfriend to along with it. But no! That's the easy part. It isn't really a question of convincing her. Women naturally like the CP with their man. It's just genetics. But the other necessary half of the CP - the elusive BiFem - is where the difficulty lies.
You not only have to find 1) A woman willing to have sex with you but 2) A woman willing to have sex with you when she *knows* she isn't getting a relationship and 3) A woman willing to have sex with another woman and 4) Willing to do all of these things at the same time.
This is a tall order. It requires perseverance. It requires effort. It requires a lot of alcohol.
There are many creatures that masquerade as the BiFem for protection or some other advantage. I have broken them up into a few categories:
Attention Grabbers: These girls like getting guys attention by making out with girls. They don't really like girls, but rather the attention gained by bumping and grinding in public. These girls will not step up to the plate.
Too Cool For School: Girl on girl action is pretty hip these days. A lot of girls talk the talk to seem like part of the cool clique. These girls don't walk the walk.
Sluts: These girls pretty much just want to have sex with the male partner in the situation, and will lie to him about digging girls to trick him into boning them. However, if you get them drunk enough they may play ball! We're getting warmer!
Lesbians: Be careful with this breed! Their venom is quite powerful and they should be treated with extreme caution. If you get them drunk enough they might play ball to have sex with your woman, but remember that they can be dangerous!
Fatties: Many fatties are willing to do pretty much anything to get some Action Jackson. This includes the CP. (And if the internet is to be believed, it also includes scat, bondage, and CosPlay) While the fatty *may* actually be a true BiFem, do you really care?
If you are looking for the BiFem on the internet, then there are a few other types you may run into:
Guys Jacking Off: 99% of the women you run into online are actually guys that are jacking off. This includes the BiFem women. You must be very very very careful not to send Guy Jacking Off photos of you and your woman in Flagrante.
Couples (Guy Jacking Off): This is a variation of the previous type. Many couples, after finding out just how slippery the BiFem can be, turn to the internet to rustle one up. Often the couple will pose as a BiFem to lure other BiFems out of hiding, or worse, trying to hook a BiFem hungry couple. Note that the guy will no doubt be jacking off at any photos you send In Flagrante.
Hopefully this little guide will help you on your quest to capture the elusive BiFem. Print out that list and put it on a wallet sized laminated card. That way you will have a handy reference for possible pitfalls in your quest.
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