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| PLASTIC, A LIBERAL CRAPFEST |  | Category: Politics
Monday, December 31st, 2001 @ 01:59 am
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 Plastic dot com. One of my 'guilty pleasures'. If you've never been, its a sort of communal website in the slashdot tradition, but instead of being patronized exclusively by geeks, its visitors are all bleeding heart, pseudo-intellectual, lame ass liberals that all have the same exact fucking thing to say in response to any post. Posts which bounce from "This TV Show Sucks" to "Look How Another Fat, Rich Republican Is Oppressing Pillow Biters." It all stinks like shit.
Now, when I said it was a guilty pleasure, it wasn't because I actually enjoy reading anything there, seeming as it and its patrons are the bane of my very existence. I go there to increase my blood pressure, because I can be on 4 hits of the most potent ecstasy in the world, but within two seconds of hitting their main page sweat is pouring from my forehead, I'm white-knuckling my mouse, and doing the most exaggerated impression of Angry John having an argument with his girlfriend.
The thing I most despise is the people that post on it. I'll quote my friend Dave in saying "Its like watching a group of people sit around and contemplate their navel." This is how it goes down: a wimped out, fag assed liberal posts a news story on some white conservative tragedy, then you get 18 pages of equally wimped out, fag assed liberals posting responses that range from "Your right, but listen to me spout on about it while using the most deep analogies that 4 years of a liberal arts education could have taught me", to "Please read my laboriously contrived witticism about this that is one sentence long, but you can tell it took me 20 minutes to come up with."
I am just now realizing that I could have gone on with this for 10 pages, but I'm going to cut off the piss and vinegar faucet while I'm not pounding my desk and clenching my teeth in a fit of rage.
Oh yeah, here are some bums:
   
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| HAPPY THANKSGIVING! | | Category: Politics
Thursday, November 22nd, 2001 @ 01:21 pm
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just had to get in that little dig. but really, happy thanksgiving to everyone and i hope everyone gets that good bellyache nap thing this afternoon.
(i hope mr. mcgruder doesn't get bent about this.)
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| WAR IS HELL... FOR THE OTHER GUYS | | Category: Politics
Thursday, November 15th, 2001 @ 08:38 pm
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So, there he is, the new mayor of New Orleans. Well, with any luck, he will be. He drinks, he smokes, he gives you pointers on how to pick women up in bars (by talking to their ass). He rocks.
Me and the crew went down to El Matador, a bar on Decatur St. in New Orleans, and wound up running into this slightly portly (you can't seem to tell from the picture) fellow wearing a black felt cowboy hat. In my drunken stupor I told Ian to ask him to serenade us with the "Are you Ready for Some Football?!" Monday Night Football theme song by good ole' Hanky Williams J.R. due to his striking resemblance, and he seemed to want to do it, but never got around to it. Instead he ended up giving us "Player for Mayor" and "Drew in 2002" stickers from his campaign and stumbling around giving us pick up lines.
We did however, as Xerxes said below, run across Dave Cross from Mr. Show with Dave and Bob at the same place and ended up crashing his little private crew. He didn't seem to happy about strangers talking to him, but I had to bask in his balding glow, I mean he made The D famous for christ's sake! Well, I apologized for bugging him, shook his hand and stumbled off. Then it hit me! He and Bob were on Space Ghost once and I've always had a huge curiosity about how those interviews actually, technically take place. So I grudgingly bugged him again, except this time, when I asked him this question his face lit up and he started going into the process and wildly flailing his arms around and shit.
He explained that basically they sit you infront of a green screen with four writers from the show and basically just fuck with you, then they write a space ghost episode around that. About what I suspected.
Aside from all these celebrity stories, I have one more thing to bring up. About two months ago I got into fights with alot of people over whether or not this was going to be World War III or us kicking the shit outta a bunch of dune dwellers with their dicks in the sand. Well, the state things are pretty much all over the news and I only have two words for you nay-saying bunch of fags that argued with me:
Daisy Cutter
Period. That is all.
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| BACK ONLINE AND BRINGING YOU THE LATEST | | Category: Politics
Tuesday, October 30th, 2001 @ 05:13 pm
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okay, i'd really like to spend this whole block of news update publicly thanking everyone for being so cool and helpful while i've been offline, but i'm afraid that just won't be possible right now.
well, i guess i can do that, but not for too long. there's big news afoot. so thanks (publicly) everyone for being so cool and helpful this past month or so. soon as i get the e-mail situation worked out i'll be e-mailing you all hugemongous wads of smelly green cash. but now there's a crisis that needs to be addressed.
i'm sure you can all readily recognize that as the package design for mountain dew's code red line of drinks. seems normal and harmless enough, right? WRONG!!! just a few short days ago i was in a convenience store and i saw a case of the stuff sitting upside down.
just like that. at first, i thought it interesting that the M and W were still lined up the same way. then i saw it. what normally says "Dew" clearly says "Mao" when inverted. you know, like chairman mao, evil communist dictator of china. and the box was red, like code red. and the code red thing started in china. and wow! it just like all hit me at once. code red mountain dew will make you a communist if you drink it.
so stay away from that stuff, kids. you've been warned.
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| I CAN'T STOP BLINKING! | | Category: Politics
Sunday, July 8th, 2001 @ 03:41 am
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okay, time to get another notch for myself on glitch13's ol' bar graph o' might.
when i was in my formative years, my favorite toys had this sticker on them.
MISS A + NEO = TL4E
now that i'm in my not so formative years, i see this an awful lot at my place of employment.
MISS A + NEO = TL4E
now, maybe i'm just crazy. maybe i'm seeing things that aren't there. but...
MISS A + NEO = TL4E
the decepticons flew. air force stuff flies. maybe in some way the air force is getting their technology from the decepticons. it all kind of fits together, like the matrix or something.
MISS A + NEO = TL4E
oh, and it looks like someone smart threw the link up to get rid of those stupid x10 camera ads. that's pure genius.
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