| RANDOM QUOTE | Only those that risk going too far
can possibly find out how far one can go.
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| PLASTIC, A LIBERAL CRAPFEST |  | Category: Politics
Monday, December 31st, 2001 @ 01:59 am
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 Plastic dot com. One of my 'guilty pleasures'. If you've never been, its a sort of communal website in the slashdot tradition, but instead of being patronized exclusively by geeks, its visitors are all bleeding heart, pseudo-intellectual, lame ass liberals that all have the same exact fucking thing to say in response to any post. Posts which bounce from "This TV Show Sucks" to "Look How Another Fat, Rich Republican Is Oppressing Pillow Biters." It all stinks like shit.
Now, when I said it was a guilty pleasure, it wasn't because I actually enjoy reading anything there, seeming as it and its patrons are the bane of my very existence. I go there to increase my blood pressure, because I can be on 4 hits of the most potent ecstasy in the world, but within two seconds of hitting their main page sweat is pouring from my forehead, I'm white-knuckling my mouse, and doing the most exaggerated impression of Angry John having an argument with his girlfriend.
The thing I most despise is the people that post on it. I'll quote my friend Dave in saying "Its like watching a group of people sit around and contemplate their navel." This is how it goes down: a wimped out, fag assed liberal posts a news story on some white conservative tragedy, then you get 18 pages of equally wimped out, fag assed liberals posting responses that range from "Your right, but listen to me spout on about it while using the most deep analogies that 4 years of a liberal arts education could have taught me", to "Please read my laboriously contrived witticism about this that is one sentence long, but you can tell it took me 20 minutes to come up with."
I am just now realizing that I could have gone on with this for 10 pages, but I'm going to cut off the piss and vinegar faucet while I'm not pounding my desk and clenching my teeth in a fit of rage.
Oh yeah, here are some bums:
   
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| MEGAN HAMILTON, 4004 14TH AVE. S. WISHES YOU A MERRY X-MAS!! |  | Category: Social
Tuesday, December 25th, 2001 @ 04:12 pm
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I woke today, drank coffee and started reading the news paper. It was nice. then horror, shock and suprise. Megan Hamilton has been running a candy cock whore house in great falls, mt and not one person told me!!! I'm sure that our boy Ian knew about it since he was in the military and all, but dang!! As you all can see in the add pictured above the house is appropriately named "chocolate licorice gate". Which may be the reason I was never let in on the secret, I am neither chocolate nor am I fond of the "licorice". aparantly by the looks of the mighty towers at the "chocolate licorice gate" you only need to put the condom on the tip of the wang. Which is a plus if you want to pretend that your dick is robbing a bank when you are doing the dirty. I could say more now but I'll wait until i get back and tell you what I found. I will tell you right now that if i get to 4004 14th ave. s. and no one is getting their got damn rocks off i'm gonna write the better buisness burough a letter telling them of the false advertising going on!!
I may even write a letter to the editor of the Great Falls tribune and Megan's parents. If any of you would like to write Megan a letter the zip code is 59405. Please remember to address it to Megan's parents because I think that Megan is in elementry school.
I would like also to extend a special Christmas message to all of my friends here at the all mighty and thought provoking GLITCH13...be safe, be happy and SUCKA' MY DICK!!!
In the imortal words of mr.fix "that is all"
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| FUCKIN' FAGGOT ASS DRINKIN' DEVICES... |  | Category: Rant
Sunday, December 23rd, 2001 @ 04:40 pm
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 o.k. you buncha' chucklie chucks time to pay the mother f'n piper. not really, i just wanted to start out sounding tuff 'cuz i found this drink that i thought ian might just have to have('cuz he likes girls stuff...and by stuff i don't mean their candy hearts and hot wet 'giners!) it's a juice drink with kind of a seaman soaked name. BELLYWASHERS! what's wierd about these flavorfull mouthfulls of piss and berries is that they taste like piss and berries. which if you ask me is umm...wierd. i think that that is about all i have to say about the fruity juice...so go to the web site and play some fuckin'games, research your urge to get sexy in a salty ski mask and spandex sort of way and maybe just maybe all of the garbled letters and numbers i just posted will make your day.
in the same only different news i'm sorry about the lack of any thing insightfull in this post but the plea for new writers fired me into a posting frenzy!! the thing that pissed me off was that i didn't even recieve an email from 6litch asking if i was all right. i mean the monkey lover sent me emails asking if i was all right after i posted, but never when i hadn't posted. for all he knew i could have been dead and he would have replaced me with some suck jaws talkin' about his fuggin' barbie doll collection. which is kind of a good idea...if you ask me.
WELL I'M FINE...thank you for asking.
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| PREMENSTRUAL INSANITY | | Category: Social
Sunday, December 23rd, 2001 @ 05:56 am
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 Once again, it's time for the irritable bitch in me to find it's way to the surface of my being. I just don't understand why 2 weeks out of every month are pretty much just miserable for me (and most women, I'm guessing). The week that the "red tide" flows really isn't as bad as the week before. The PreRag week I turn into this monster that even I don't want to be around. I can only imagine the grief that Glitch feels having to deal with my crampy, bloated, bitchy ass.
The only possible up side to PMS is the enlargement of the breasts. Although this isn't much of a plus if your man just wants to play with them. They really do get tender...I mean, they're cool to look at and all; but for some reason my man thinks that this is the best time to squeeze on them. And that just makes me more irritable. Really the irritability just never seems to end.
Now, some women don't seem to have it as bad as others. I guess that it just gets worse with age; until that clock starts running out. And then you just have bigger and better, old people problems to deal with.
I've found that someone out there actually offers (and is profiting on this) a blood test to find out if you have PMS. As if you couldn't tell.
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| MAGIC, ITS WHATS FOR BREFAST (TIME FOR SOME CHEESE) | | Category: Rant
Tuesday, December 18th, 2001 @ 02:24 am
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 Magic. I got into a conversation with a friend the other day about it. He has kids and is extremely worried about the fact that every time they bring up magic, he debunks it; yet when it come to questions like "how does Santa Claus fit down the chimney?" his answer is always magic. I suppose its really not important seeing as they won't be buying that line of crap forever. You gotta grow up someday...
Which brings me to my point. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who believe in magic. Actually, the result of an indepent poll show that 80% of blacks believe white people put "black only" sterilization chemicals in the water supply, but that's a different story. There are people who believe in magic, there are people who believe in angels, and there are people who believe in the motherfucking Lock Ness monster. This is the twenty-first century, yet we still have people who believe this mindless bullshit.
I have a friend, the same one I spoke of earlier, who thinks that popular culture is dragging us into another dark age due to our sudden reluctance to accept science. Now, science may have meandered from its core roots, but all in all its a dicipline that allows one to only accept something as fact if it can be proven through a logical process. Many a person believes in acupuncture, auras, yoga, meditation, etc... yet all of it is unproven. Of course, all of these people will say its drug companies and 'Big Brother' don't even want to give it the time of day. Bullshit. They've tested it all. They would rather believe that these people are hiding the facts about it all; but the clear truth is, these entities are driven by money. If they could market a super-duper pain killing acupuncture needle, they would, in a New York minute; whatever that means. But they can't because sticking a needle in your skin does NOTHING but make a really small hole.
I'm tired of it all. I wish it all would stop.
In other news, I snagged the Cowboy Bebop movie off Morpheus and burned it to VCD (although its in Jappy with subtitles), so I'm waiting for a friend to drop by with some whiskey so we can make a night out of it.
And in even other-er news, I need some more fucking writers. The ones I have now are slackers, and my girlfriend refuses to post for me. So, I don't care who you are, even if you just stumbled upon this site by searching for vulva pump on google, drop me a line and join an alcoholic from New Orleans in his quest to add more drivel to the ol' WWW. That is all.
BUTTS
  
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