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Category: Personal
Sunday, December 26th, 2004 @ 02:36 pm
Posted By Brent
Twas a White Christmas in New Orleans. I think the Earth is broken.


Category: Personal
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004 @ 06:12 pm
Posted By Brent


Category: Personal
Wednesday, December 15th, 2004 @ 10:21 am
Posted By Brent
Today marks the one month mark on my non-smoking calendar. Yep, one whole lunar cycle since I was last pharmacologically enhanced by nicotine, a momentous occasion indeed.

I've had the occasional nic-fit, but for the most part I feel as if the majority, if not all, of the withdrawal is behind me. The only time I really want a cigarette these days is if I'm at a bar I feel the need to do that "cool" thing with my hands and mouth. It's almost a Pavlovian response cycle: enter bar, purchase alcohol, smoke cigarette. I don't even control it anymore and I'm not sure I'll ever even fully get rid of it.

So I've made it one month. A twelfth of a year. One rent payment. One bout of PMS. That's gotta count for something, right?


Category: Personal
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 @ 02:33 pm
Posted By Brent
After reading an article on kuro5hin, I've realized I'm a comfort addict. It's a good read, at least for someone in my position.

It's not the first time I've thought it. I go back and forth all the time trying to figure out the source of my lack of motivation. I usually end up pinning it on either substance abuse, age, or this comfort thing.

Well, after removing substance abuse (with the exception of alcohol, my precious) by just putting a halt to drug and tobacco use, things seemed better, but I still can't seem to do anything but sit around when I get home from work.

After paying close attention to those around me, I'm fairly confident I can rule out age since I have friends, Pete for example, older than me, and ten times more active than myself. Granted, he's not older than me by a huge margin, but even having people the same age as me that aren't suffering from this proves my point well enough.

This of course leaves the "comfort addiction." When there's nothing causing any discomfort in your life, how do you ever know when anything good's happening? It all just sort of pales together into this haze of comfort. After experiencing comfort alone for a long enough period of time, it fades into just being.

I'm left with a situation I don't really know how to remedy. I want to want to do shit more that I actually just want to do shit. I fully realize that I've done this to myself. Allowed myself to stay home and drink, allowed myself to become domesticated, allowed myself to be happy with comfort alone.

I'm trying to reverse it now, but it's seeming kind of forced. I have fun when I go out, but I have no actual motivation to go out. I just have to kick myself out the door and have a situation to inject myself into. Having fun is a fucking hassle. When you're young, it always seems hip to project yourself as the jaded asshole -- it's a lot less fun in practice.


Category: Personal
Sunday, November 21st, 2004 @ 11:43 am
Posted By Brent

The bet is now on. Me and Scott. Scott and I. He who smokes first must buy for the other his most coveted, unowned piece of technology.

The potential booty breaks down as such:
Scott: Nintendo DS
Brent: NVidia Geforce (insert some model number here)

Those are the rules. Those are the consequences. May the best man win.


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