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| DREAM: WHITE STRIPES SLUMBER PARTY |  | Category: Personal
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003 @ 06:03 pm
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Scott, for some reason, lived in a mobile home and had invited me and Brenda to sleep over tonight. When we got there, we were quite suprised to find the Jack and Meg White spending the night too. We began to drink and talk, and before long we had created a drinking game out of some board game that was lying around. When my turn came around I lost and was forced to drink. Everyone in the room objected saying that you didn't drink when you lost this game, instead, everyone else got the throw darts at your abdomen. Being scared shitless that any moment I was going to get pummeled by darts, I bolted out of the door of the mobile home and set off running down the gravel road.
All the mobile homes here were rather strange, some reaching 4 to 5 stories in the air. By the time morning came I turned and started walking back to Scott's house. I really didn't want to go back inside until I was sure they weren't still playing this insane game. I climbed up the side the peered into the window and only saw Scott and Jack White. They didn't seem to be playing the game any longer, so I jumped down and went on inside.
It all of a sudden became extremely apparent that Meg wasn't around anymore. When I asked Jack where she was he responded by sticking his arms out and hanging limply as if he were being crucified. "She's dead?!", I asked, and Scott to me, "yeah, she's dead. She lost too many times and couldn't stop the bleeding."
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| SUCK THE HEADS AND WAX THE CURB | | Category: Personal
Tuesday, April 1st, 2003 @ 12:13 pm
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Hola folks. Its been a crawtastic couple of weeks around these parts. Crawfish boil at Ian's, Crawfish Fest in Chalmette, crawfish boil at my parent's house, crawdads, crawdads, crawdads!
The first two were great, by I only have notions about what happened at the one at my parent's house. Its never really a good idea to go to your parent's house and get lit up like a christmas tree on bourbon. It wasn't the first time, but by God, I'm going to try to make it the last time. Its really fun when its happening, until you wake up the next morning and big, ugly, meaty chunks of embarassment start assaulting your memory.
Anywho, the Crawfish Fest was a much more condusive atmosphere for drunken revelry than your aging, retired parent's house. We got lit up, ate some crawfish pasta, an onion mum, and a Lot O' Beer. The Cheewee's played, but they're more like a watered down kid's version of the Bag O' D. Another interesting aspect of that night was that ReDbean was opening up his skate shop on the same night, so we got to bounce back and forth between drinking beer at the fest and hanging out at the shop which was convieniently located right across the street from each other. Here a little photographic evidence of said skate shop:
I'm sure all of your doubts about the reallity of his endevour are finally put to rest. I also showed my support and bought a belt. I'm really beginning to consider starting skating again. I mean, I did promise him that I would if he actually opened a shop. There's that and the fact that me and exersize to get along to much unless I'm having some sort of fun. Well, we'll see.
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| SMACK TALK | | Category: Personal
Tuesday, March 11th, 2003 @ 02:47 pm
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Howdy, how 'bout I rap at ya for a while?
Well, the festivities of Mardi Gras weekend happened (the balcony party mentioned in the last post) and pretty much blew my liver out for the rest of the week. Although, I was planning on going up or downtown for Mardi Gras day, I woke up way to late, and by the time we had our shit together we didn't feel like fighting the traffic up / down there. That and our friends who were calling and taunting us every 10 minutes were sounding like people sound when they've been drunk for 8 solid hours: convinced they are staying out, but sounding like they're about to pass out.
So, anywho, I'll be sure to make it out next year, I promise. Besides that, not much else has been happening. It seems as though my finances are going through a vicious "binge and purge" cycle, one week having a good chunk 'o change, the next bringing a can of corn to work for lunch. I highly doubt I hold any responsibility for that. Somebody else must be mismanaging my funds while I'm not around. Fear not, though, I will catch the dastardly villian behind this attempt to ruin my good standing in the fiscal community.
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| GROSSLY INSUFFICIENT | | Category: Personal
Friday, February 28th, 2003 @ 10:46 am
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 Obligitory apology for lack of posting. Stop.
Well, things could be better in my neck of the omniverse these past few days. Seems that I overspent myself as of late, and my bank was more than happy to thank me by taking a big, wet $150 bite out of my already insufficiently funded ass. So of course, this is money that will be magically deducted out of my paycheck once it goes through. So, I'm expecting some finicial acrobatics in the coming days, seeming as after I pay rent I have a hard time imagining how to sustain myself on the negative four dollars I will have left. Oh well, hope the landlady doesn't mind waiting two more weeks for rent!
I have to shaft the rent payment, seeming as I have things to do and spirits to imbibe this weekend. After my life-long tenure in New Orleans, I will be attending my first "Balcony Party" at a ritzy hotel on Bourbon St. For those of you wondering, these are pretty much the parties you see going on above Bourbon Street in that emmy award winning documentary series "Girls Gone Wild" and the such. Truly not my scene, but hell, a law firm is throwing it, and through my seedy underworld connections, I got a nod -- so by God, I will go, and I will drink.
Also, Tony, a friend of John's will be in town, and present at said party, so I'll get to see him there too. Not like I've met him more times than I have fingers on one hand, but from what I remember he's a pretty cool guy. That and the way John talks about people he knows, I almost feel a bond with his redneck, amputee father, whom I've never met.
Well, that's pretty much it for now, and remember, it's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time. It's tricky.
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| HAPPY SEX/DIAMONDS/CHOCOLATE DAY! | | Category: Personal
Friday, February 14th, 2003 @ 05:00 pm
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 Well, that magical day, that me and mine ignore for the most part, is here upon us again. Ah, behold Valentines day. Now, don't mistake apathy for disgust. You won't hear some commie rant from me about globalization and the creeping western influence across the world. What the shit do I care whether or not someone does or doesn't want a McWhatthefuck Burger. Apparently somebody was buying them, I doubt companies factor American hegemony into their bottom lines when deciding where their company stands in the 'Global Market'..
Eeek, lemme stop that in its tracks. Anywho, I've never really gotten into the whole Valentines day shindig, I suppose its just never really struck me as anything special. Sure, I'll take my girlfriend out for a nice dinner and climb into bed that night, furtively hoping that anal sex is somewhere in the itinerary -- but that's about it. Sometimes I get lucky and she wants to be on the receiving end of it, but that's usually pushing it a bit far.
So, anyone got any gushy gushy plans?
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