When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

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Category: Personal
Thursday, October 11th, 2001 @ 06:50 pm
Posted By Brent
Well, not only is that a good butt, and I'm guessing a cool bike, but it has a certain symbolism. It seems that friday, after the hustle and bustle of the work week, I was riding home on my bike and came upon a nice fat ass traffic jam about 10 or so blocks from my house. Now, I'm usually the most cautious of riders, but it being stand still traffic, and feeling that 'close proximity to domicile' aura of saftey, I made a mistake.

I got permission from some car's driver to cut across her lane in front of her to the empty lane on the far side of her's (which I needed to be in to go home anyway). While edging out into the other lane so I could see if there was any oncoming traffic, a van a couple cars back pulled out into the empty lane and started barreling down. Seeming as I was about at the end of my edging process, the front half of my bike was sticking out in their path, so I had 3 choices:

  • Stay and get hit, in the process probably latterally flipping 4-5 time from the impact
  • Try and back up in time with leg power (no fucking way)
  • Gun it and try to snake in front of them
As any sane person would do, I tried to cut em off, get in front of them and go faster as to not get creamed.

Well... I got creamed. While I was still in the approach angle, the corner of their bumper smacked at right about the middle of my back wheel and we both (me and the bike) went down for the count. My bike and about a foot or so of my legs went under the van (lucky missing the Wheels Of Certain Death by Big-Assed 70's Dodge Van) and got uncerimoniously dragged for a couple of feet while they calmly slowed to a stop.

It wasn't over yet though. They immediately jumped out and started hurling every profanity they could grasp at me, all the while, I was of course still underneath their fucking bumper, pinned to the ground by my bike. I finnally dragged myself up, them still cursing me out, and started checking myself for missing limbs. At about this time the woman who let my cut across in front of her rolled down her window and started cursing them out for not seeing if I was hurt before they started laying into me with the insults. They stood there with a stupid look on their faces for a second then peeped "So, are you OK?" I was so pumped on adrenaline, and so not in the mood to deal with the type of people who drive a Dodge Van from the 70's that I just accepted blamed, dragged my shit up and drove off. Now my taillight is really fucking broken. Life sucks.


Category: Personal
Thursday, July 26th, 2001 @ 03:26 am
Posted By mr.fix
JuLy 23 2001


Category: Personal
Monday, July 23rd, 2001 @ 06:18 pm
Posted By xerxes7
um hi and this is the important news of today to all of you in the world!

there are some many days on the calendar that are important and they can be president's day and christmas and then some more and one of the more ones is the one that is today written on the calendar to say "Mr. Fix". that means it is mister fix's birthday today so here is the picture of him. (sorry i did not make it like a cartoon, i do not know how to do that.)

image insertion

so today he is this many years old. oops. i do not have that many fingers. to celebrate jim repulsive says we will have a blackout party. i think that means we will turn off the lights and tell scary stories and maybe five minutes in heaven, which is where you spin a bottle and then whoever it points at gets hit on the head and they pass out for five minutes and go to heaven. unless they pass out longer. then it is a technical foul and we call the police on them. cheaters don't win.

also, i will not put up a picture of a girl now because amy vomit won't stop trying to hump me but i don't have a picture of her.

the end.


Category: Personal
Wednesday, July 11th, 2001 @ 10:48 pm
Posted By Brent
Well, I suppose I should apologize to Suzy, seeming as her birthday passed and I never did an embarassing animation for her. You see, I have no pictures of her on my computer, but fear not, I'm getting a hand-me-down scanner tommorow, so you will get to see her in all her animated glory as has become the tradion here on people's birthdays.

Not much going on around here right now, just nursing the last of the whiskey so that I don't make a drunken run to the store at midnight on a Wednesday. Oh, the joys of alcoholism. Speaking of, Matt and Amy got me a flask on their trip to L.A./San Fran, and its a neato little deal: Its prolly got about half a pint storage, but what makes it the killer app of boozing it up is the fact that it has a little flip-top compartment on the side of it for smokes. The only downfall is that I filled it up with booze and cigs in a drunken stupor and spilled whiskey all over it, so now I'm smoking brown cigarettes. Oh well, maybe I'll get ever more drunk while smoking them.

Miss A. was trying to talk me into waving my trouser snake around on the cam last night. Not to sure why I didn't do, or what numb nut excuse I made as to why I wasn't going to, but I can't blame her, my Dirk Diggler gargantuan reputation preceedes me everywhere I go. I suppose I was just born to be a star, a star, a bright and shining star.

I know the pic up there ain't nothing to write home about, but I was at a loss. I was going to put one of this chick up there, seeming as she has an ass and legs that you could crack walnuts on, but I couldn't settle on which single one best represented all of her equally. It was either bad ass shot of legs, or bad ass shot of ass, never the two together, so just take that link in trade.

As far as the internet porn hunting is concerned though, I do have reason to celebrate. If you've been viewing this page long enough, you may remeber this post. Well, I found the whole series that that top pic came from, and whitout further ado, here's a small sampling:


Category: Personal
Tuesday, June 19th, 2001 @ 09:40 am
Posted By Brent
Some weekends rocks balls out. Some suck. Then, some REALLY suck. Mine was of the third variety.

It started out pretty good. I just got my 128 Meg O' RAM in the mail, and got accepted to the Anarchy Online Beta. Well, around thursday night, I was hanging out, just looking around in the vast polygonal world, reveling in all the serious role players and they're astute ability to get in character by yelling things like 'Suck i7, y0u f4g bi0tch!'. All was good.

Then, outta nowhere the server crashed and I got unceremoniously dumped on my ass to the desktop and got one of those Win2k 'Shit is crashing, wait 4 hours please' windows. After that things seemed to be kinda slow, so I decided a reboot was in order. Lo and behold, what greets me after bootup? The 'Shit is REALLY broken' Win2k blue screen. After many failed attemps at getting her back up by reseating cards and harddisks and what not, I got a nice bios 'Primary Harddisk Is Fucked' message (ok, so that wasn't verbatim) and I decided there to just chock it all up to a bum HD and move on.

Well, $110 and 3 days later I run into this nugget of fucking wisdom that was finnally bestowed upon me. Well fuck me silly and call me Susan. The most fucked up thing is, they didn't even email me. I wouldn't had ever found out about it, if it weren't for the same thing happening to Tycho over at Penny Arcade and him going on a rant about it. I guess that's what I get for playing a fag MMORPG. I am swearing them off from now on. You will never see me play another one, EVER.

Of course, I can't leave out the fact that John sat on my Edward Scissorhands (the mint-in-box one), and then in an ill attempt at wrestling each other under the influence of one of the most toxic substances know to man, Old Crow, he collapsed my kneecap (actually I think he just twisted my ACL) and sent me to the floor writhing like a little bitch. That's where the signifigance of the picture up there comes from. I'm a fucking firey ball of wit, aren't I?


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