| RANDOM QUOTE | When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-Henny Youngman | |
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| GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR! |  | Category: Misc
Saturday, June 30th, 2001 @ 06:39 pm
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 So, John was telling me that in Asian societies, having hugenormous eyeballs is some sort of sign of beauty, so they try to open their eyes as much as possible during photo oportunities. I never thought much about it till I ran across this pic during my daily pr0n parusal. Now don't get my wrong, that chick is hot (yo), but my god, it looks like she just spent 4 hours with the doctors from Clockwork Orange. I wonder what they think of those people who can pop their eyeballs out and wiggle em around, maybe they're revered as some sort of god. Probably not, probably just think they're freaks like we do, but ya gotta wonder...
So, the writers will notice (if you bastards ever took the time to even come here once and a while) that when you log in, a little link will appear in your upper right hand side of the page, no matter where you go on the site, that will bring you back to the admin page. I got kinda tired of either having to backpedal through handfulls of pages or relogging to get back to it. Ya, I know how great I am, you can thank me later.
Most of my friends are outta town this weekend, so I'm kinda just bumming around. I'd call jason to see if he wants to get together, but he'd prolly just flake like he's done the past two times. Fargin' bastage. I'd call John, be he think's my choice of drink is "Vile", he just can't handle the truth baby. That's right bitch, I DON'T NEED THE GIRL! I DON'T NEED THE GUN! I CAN BEAT YOU MATRIX!!! Ten bonus Brent Bucks good at any neighborhood Guido's Oil Change and Adult Bookstore go to the first person who can identify that quote (as long as that person isn't John).
Speaking of quotes, I've long secretly despised people who have the terminal condition know as "Can't Stop Quoting Monty Fucking Python". Well, recently I've found people at my work are getting similarly annoyed with my quoting of Caddyshack and Top Gun; So I just want to apologize: TUFF SHIT.
Enough rambling about whatever is popping into my head at the moment, here's a lovely lady:
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| LAZARUS -- NOT YOUR AVERAGE ZOMBIE |  | Category: Rant
Wednesday, June 27th, 2001 @ 12:02 am
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 So, I finally got all the computer shiznit back in order, everything's showin' and flowin'. I absentmindedly had sex in front of the camera tonight, so if you were a' watching, congrats on the free show.
So, did you know that Marylin Manson was a red-headed female porn model? I did.
Anyways, I feel like dying. My parental units tossed me their treadmill and I've been running for 15 minutes everyday. Christ, if it weren't for all that shit about early man fighting for survival and shit, I'd totally be of the opinion that we were meant to sit on the couch and drink whiskey all day (seeming as that's my normal daily ritual [fortunately that lasts longer than 15 minutes]). So, I've been running regularly and now my legs feel like shit and my body is having an internal battle over which it likes more: being healthy, or smoking a pack and a half a day. I'm guessing that's gonna be one of those 'Hundred-Years Wars' seeming as I don't plan (read: want) to be giving up either anytime in the near future.
I suppose if I keep it up long enough, my body will come to some even-ground, so I'll just grin and bear it.
But I digress from my pointless blathering...
I don't have a subscription or anything, but somehow where ever I move, I keep getting Maxim in the mail. Anywho, they have an article in it this month about 'Project Ginger', or more affectionately nicknamed, 'It'. Guess what, its a fucking scooter. I fucking swear, I will kill the creator of the 'next big thing' that comes along; I will mold the big shit cloud of hype people have created around it and shove it up all their collective asses, sideways if it has a sort of oblong shape to it. I mean COME ON! Its the fucking year 2000(+1), I'm not asking for a flying car, just gimme something worthy of a fraction of the fucking hype Ron Popeil has generated about one of his shitty shit shits.
Ok, I've been reduced to using three derivations of the same obscenity with out any words in between, so enough ranting; here's some asses:
B-B-Butt! -~-
B-B-Butt! -~-
B-B-Butt! -~-
B-B-Butt! -~-
B-B-Butt!
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| I HAVE HEARD THE VOICE OF GOD |  So, I'm just sitting around, ya know, just rockin' and a' rollin' on the ole' computer (as pictured to the left there) when all of a sudden I'm beseiged by a blinding white light coming from my monitor. Then the walls start shaking, The earth was quaking, My mind was achin', and you... oh wait. Thats wrong. So anywho, that's when I heard it, the Voice of God. I think it may have been coming outta my computer speakers, but I have no way to verify, I'm only glad I had quick enough reflexes to record the stuff. I think it may have something to do with a link Fix put in his last post, but the fact remains it has supernatural origins:
Chemestry -=-
Alcohol -=-
Postage -=-
Public Service Annoucement
 Once it was all over, everthing went back to normal. I'm not quite sure what the meaning of all of it was, probably some shit about me being a "Choosen One" or "Born for Greatness". I get that kinda shit all the time.
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| RIGHT IN THE MEAN BEAN MACHINE! |  | Category: Personal
Tuesday, June 19th, 2001 @ 09:40 am
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 Some weekends rocks balls out. Some suck. Then, some REALLY suck. Mine was of the third variety.
It started out pretty good. I just got my 128 Meg O' RAM in the mail, and got accepted to the Anarchy Online Beta. Well, around thursday night, I was hanging out, just looking around in the vast polygonal world, reveling in all the serious role players and they're astute ability to get in character by yelling things like 'Suck i7, y0u f4g bi0tch!'. All was good.
Then, outta nowhere the server crashed and I got unceremoniously dumped on my ass to the desktop and got one of those Win2k 'Shit is crashing, wait 4 hours please' windows. After that things seemed to be kinda slow, so I decided a reboot was in order. Lo and behold, what greets me after bootup? The 'Shit is REALLY broken' Win2k blue screen. After many failed attemps at getting her back up by reseating cards and harddisks and what not, I got a nice bios 'Primary Harddisk Is Fucked' message (ok, so that wasn't verbatim) and I decided there to just chock it all up to a bum HD and move on.
Well, $110 and 3 days later I run into this nugget of fucking wisdom that was finnally bestowed upon me. Well fuck me silly and call me Susan. The most fucked up thing is, they didn't even email me. I wouldn't had ever found out about it, if it weren't for the same thing happening to Tycho over at Penny Arcade and him going on a rant about it. I guess that's what I get for playing a fag MMORPG. I am swearing them off from now on. You will never see me play another one, EVER.
Of course, I can't leave out the fact that John sat on my Edward Scissorhands (the mint-in-box one), and then in an ill attempt at wrestling each other under the influence of one of the most toxic substances know to man, Old Crow, he collapsed my kneecap (actually I think he just twisted my ACL) and sent me to the floor writhing like a little bitch. That's where the signifigance of the picture up there comes from. I'm a fucking firey ball of wit, aren't I?
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| FUCKING SHIZNIT |  | Category: Tech
Sunday, June 17th, 2001 @ 08:35 pm
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Sorry for the lack of communication from me for the past couple of days... my harddrive crashed (as in the physically broken sense) so I had to go out and buy a new one. Funny story 'bout that tho, I have a little 4 gigger in there as the D drive and even though the new one was the primary master drive, win2k pulled it up as the 'C' drive and it installed win2k on the new one under drive 'F' and boots/runs off of that. Weird.
The unfortunate side of this is that I had a new issue of WTFIT? on the drive ready for publication, and now it will be forever lost. sniff, sniff. Anyhow, expect another, more meaningfull I hope, post outta me soon.
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