One of the first and formost being the elevator silence; sure we've all experienced it, but when you're an office dweller, you experience it 5 times a day at least. It goes something like this: you and your 'colleague' are chatting about something, about to hop on the elevator, when lo and behold the door opens up and its got people in it. A rift in the space time continuim occurs here, your conversation stops, no matter how intense it was at the time the elevator open, and everyone - including you and your 'colleague' - just stand there and stare blankly, heads titled at forty-five degrees, looking at the little current floor readout. The second you hit your floor and get out, the conversation starts back off right where it ended and no one even blinks at it. Dave says that in phsyc curriculums in college, they have entire classes on 'Elevator Behaviour', I believe it.

Another anomonaly is desk arrangement. I'll start this one off by saying if you're in a cubicle, you already know your station in life (or in the office rather). But, if your have your own desk in an open office (or even your own office for that matter), here's a sure fire way to tell whether or not you're a scrub or a man of stature: if your desk faces a wall, you're a grunt; if your desk faces a door or a couple of chairs, you're a real player. To recap: facing wall - peon; facing open space - not a person that will be replaced if the shit hits the fan. Now this isn't a dig at your skillz in your chosen craft, its just simple office politics.

Well, this is getting kinda lengthy, and I have some work to finish, so I'll be adding to this from time to time I guess.

Feel free to post your own astute observations about this way of life in the comments.

Hrmm, trying to think if I have anything on the old agenda; if you're wondering why the camera pic is all black, that cause Pete gave me his cam (which is about 2000X better than the one I was using), and I came home drunk and just plugged it in, surprise surprise! It didn't work! When I get a few moments of free time (of course, between watching Junkyard Wars and the History Channel) I'll uninstall the old one and get the new one's drivers all in line and it should work.

And your pitiful excuses for BASE posts are sickening, hrmph! And you call yourselves men!

And one more thing, if you run across *ANYTHING* that could be used for another issue of WTFIT? please shoot it at me.

W00T! ITS SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY!

I would have called you or someshit, but you're always either at work, with Reba, or I wake your Dad and he mumbles something about a leather mask with a zipper mouth and vaseline, so I usually just hang up real quick like.

Well, hope you're having fun, I'm not, I'm fighting with over the web credit card authorization at work, yay, fun fun! And while I'm bitching, how about some of you fucks contribute to my ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US thread in the forum, lazy bitches.

Till next time, this is Cap'n Fucko, over and out.

Anyhow, last night I was quite gone, and it seems I held a quite long discussion with Ian, but I don't remember what I said. Upon looking in my ICQ history, I saw that I said (and he told me later) that I wanted to be Tyler Durden, I wanted to see his roomate pee, and that its funny that I still wear a necklace that my highschool girlfriend gave me.

Someone please remind me not to ever go that far into intoxication ever again.

Well, I gotta go hook up the BBQ supplies and pick spiderwoman up (its 500pm and he's already to drunk to drive). See you homo butt-humpers later.

On a side note, I have a job at work now with PHP, so I'll be learning that as the week progresses, eventually (hopefully) I will recreate the entire site in PHP, but for now this is my task: I had to figure out MySQL for the job (which wasn't that hard), and I think I'll be moving the backend over to that, using M.S. Access has just become a joke.

Anyhow, here's your porn!